#someday ill do a real piece of him again for the first time in YEARS

[kazehita]

warrior of light

[aquanthis]

can u infodump about Solomon. Please. I know I’ve heard a bit about him but go wild. give me the full essay. if this is a movie theatre I’m sitting there front row very excited 🥹🖤🫶‼️‼️

JUMPING UP AND DOWN SO FAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOLOMON VALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this cringe fucking loser (<- said in a way that makes it clear i want him in a way that would get me burned at the stake)

(please forgive the fact that all the images are full size, i've literally been trying to fix it for 15 minutes and tumblr just reverts it back every time and i'm literally so mad about it)

yes i can infodump about him. yes i always can. this fucker altered my brain chemistry at 15-16 years old and continues to make me ill to this day.

welcome to the first introduction of magicverse on this blog hehehe my true agenda all along

(CW: child abuse/abuse in general, kidnapping, sort of graphic violence, sexual abuse (implied)/sex as a self-defense mechanism... basically any warning you'd put on astari*n's story can be applied here. they're shockingly similar. i would avoid talking about some of this stuff if it wasn't so important story-wise, sorry ^^;)

anyway. look at him again. your reward for opening the readmore

okay so, i'm gonna have to elaborate on some worldbuilding first because otherwise a lot of this doesn't make sense.

there are six major types of entities in magicverse, with some notable offshoots. but in the context of solomon, i will be mainly referring to three: humans, sorcerers, and demons. humans are exactly as they are in the real world, living normal lives unaware of magic. sorcerers are, in essence, humans who can see and interact with magic, with an additional thing: humans can't see them, hear them, or interact with them. magic still affects the real world, but to humans it looks like natural disasters or other strange phenomena, rather than what it actually is. demons are creatures that were originally humans, but were turned (similarly to vampires! except demons have to actually kill them rather than just biting) and are no longer human. they can interact with both humans and sorcerers, as well as anything in between, including magic. however, they can't manipulate magic.

USUALLY.

however! you remember that "notable offshoot" i was talking about? that's solomon, and his "siblings". but i'll talk about them later. for now, i'm going to talk about solomon and his "superior", servius.

solomon was born a sorcerer. you'll notice that in my description of demons, i said they were originally humans. and, the vast majority of them were, because turning sorcerers was forbidden long, long ago, by the sort of governing body that exercises control over demons, the "high demon council" (i'd like to find a better name for this someday but have never gotten around to it). however, servius, cocky piece of shit that he is, decided that he wanted to overthrow that governing body, and take control of the demons himself. and in order to do that, he needed an army. or, if not an army, an extremely powerful weapon.

and what extremely powerful weapon was available to him? sorcerers. because why would turning sorcerers be forbidden if it didn't pose a threat? but servius isn't particularly strong for a demon, and certainly not strong enough to take on a full blown sorcerer by himself. so, you know what he did?

he started hunting down sorcerer kids. impressionable, still weak enough prey. and solomon was the first.

sylvester vale was 9 years old, an only child, and so, so loved. his parents adored him; he was their whole world. he was a little shy, loved candy, and hated brushing his teeth.

and servius caught him on his way home one day, cut his head off, and made a puppet out of him. turned him into solomon.

the thing about demons, see, is that they can't disobey the orders of their "superiors", aka the ones who turned them. their bodies react when their superior speaks, whether they want to obey or not. suffice to say, it was disgustingly easy for servius to turn a boy into a weapon, horrifyingly simple to do whatever he needed to to get solomon to lose every ounce of defiance he had.

solomon doesn't remember his life "before". he doesn't remember his parents, hardly remembers even having any. it's been 150-ish years since then, after all, and everything servius did to him erased every bit of the boy he was before. the only remnants he has are the jagged scar on his neck and his fucked up teeth.

the other thing about demons is that, despite the fact that they can shapeshift, there are certain things they can't shapeshift away, usually "imperfections" of some kind that are either indicative of something from their prior life or scars from the way they were killed. solomon has both. like the universe getting one last spiteful laugh lol

anyway. so, once servius felt like he'd sufficiently erased every bit of "sylvester" from solomon (so, when solomon was older, about 16) he started training him. and it was true that a sorcerer-turned-demon was far more powerful than any normal demon, even if solomon was still just a scrawny, fucked up teenager. not only did he have the superhuman strength of a demon and the ability to shapeshift, he also still had his magic. a demon with magic, and not only that, but he still had the ability to interact with humans. and that was a strength that no one else could claim.

so, that cemented the plan: to craft superweapon demon children, and twist them, and break them to obey servius's will. to eventually overthrow the demon society as they knew it.

it took a long time for servius to find other targets. sorcerers are few and far between, and sorcerer children even moreso. so it was just solomon for a long time, and in the meantime he learned to do as demons do: haunt the streets, pick targets to turn, make more. it was a good distraction, if anything, to drown himself in city nightlife and bars and sex and doing what he had been taught to do: kill. he got so good at it that he did it without thinking, because it was all he really knew how to do. for about a hundred years. he turned into a charismatic, flirtatious, murdering monster. a good, true villain. back then, anyway

there were others that servius tried to turn, over those years. but they were failures, either failing to turn and just dying instead, or simply being impossible to break and being killed for real (the holy water kind). and solomon felt nothing. but then servius got sick of doing it himself, and went, hm! well, i have a superweapon, after all! might as well finally use it! and sent solomon to do his dirty work.

now, you may be wondering, "grims, wouldn't they have to obey solomon then?" well not if solomon dragged them back to servius instead of killing them himself.

which was the plan. but the first time, solomon fucked up. lol

i have this other oc, lavern, who was solomon's first target. and solomon would've been able to handle it pretty easily. except that when he got to the point where he could drag him back to servius, he had this momentary thought of like, "okay, well, if i turned him myself though, i could get the upper hand on servius". because, like, it's not like he loved servius. he hated his fucking guts. but there was nothing he could do. so he thought, well, if i turn this kid, maybe he can be my weapon. and he started to do it, started to kill him. but about halfway through, he suddenly felt sick, realizing this must've been what servius felt when he turned solomon, and he stopped.

unfortunately, something went wrong, and lavern ended up becoming some weird half-demon half-sorcerer amalgam that kind of just made him weaker instead of stronger. and solomon is saddled with the guilt of permanently fucking this kid up because he got greedy. but it's only a little guilt, because we must remember solomon was kind of a piece of shit at this point. 👍 he does end up hiding lavern in his apartment though because he feels bad. he kind of ends up like a little brother to solomon, and that's where solomon's "siblings" start.

servius got mad at him for this, of course (solomon lied and said he failed and the kid died) and never let him go hunting for him again. soon after that, servius hunted down a couple of other kids, an 8 year old and a 16 year old (and he was REALLLLLLY lucky on that one), and successfully turned them. lili and jem, solomon's other siblings. and servius began calling them "horsemen," some tongue-in-cheek joke because he meant to make a fourth one. solomon, death. lili, famine. jem, war. and the last would be pestilence.

but he never got the chance to make a fourth one. there's a long story about the first person solomon ever fell in love with, the thing that changed him from this mostly heartless monster to something salvageable, but it's something i kind of want to rework because it involves an oc that is not mine and that feels wrong to still use. the plot would remain the same, but the details would need to be different. but the jist is, solomon sticks his neck out for someone he really shouldn't have, because he got stupid and possessive of an enemy, and it leads to him saving them from being permanently obliterated, and in return they eventually kill servius in a blind rage because servius tries to get solomon to kill them. and they basically destroy themself in the process. and solomon is left alone again. :)

so for about 20 years, solomon's alone with no servius and just his siblings, one of which (jem) hates him so much and keeps trying to kill him, and the other two who he has no idea how to deal with. and he has this new problem of having grown to care about someone enough to fall in love with them and then losing them and having no idea how to deal with these feelings he now knows he's capable of. and it sucks, and he's miserable, and he starts randomly taking jobs just to fill his time.

and that's how he meets meko, a sorcerer, and solomon's future husband (seb's oc who i literally go fucking crazy over!)

i'm only saying how they met because i think seb would be disappointed in me if i didn't. we were like 17 when we came up with this so please forgive how juvenile it is though it's in character JKSHJDKJSD. but anyway uh, it was originally just a joke, but i had solomon working the night shift as a cashier at a sex toy store because he would do that (he enjoys people watching). and meko, yknow, being a sorcerer, figured he could just go in and steal whatever he wanted because it's not like anyone would be able to see him, right? but he didn't expect a demon to be working the register LMFAO so uh. yeah. solomon calls him out on it because no one else is there and meko being meko is like "hey i'll suck your dick if you let me go" because he's. normal. solomon doesn't take him up on it but it's still funny to me. also meko's first impression of solomon is, and i quote, "That has to be the palest motherfucker I've ever seen in my entire fucking life," which i still think is a hilarious first impression and also extremely true.

anyway uhhhh jem shows up and tries to kill solomon again when meko's there and solomon has to save him, but then it ends up with this whole debacle where solomon takes meko to his pocket dimension apartment but can't get him back out immediately and it's a whole ridiculous way to meet. but they just keep running into each other over and over despite not trying to and they disastrously fall for each other because they're equally weird and chaotic. but meko is terminally ill and doesn't tell solomon until he's so weak he can't hide it, and solomon loses it because. well. the other person he loved died unexpectedly and it's Bad. so solomon, despite his better judgment, offers to turn meko into a demon (or, well, a horseman, but, semantics) to "save" his life. so he wouldn't have to lose him. and meko lets him.

it's a scene i've wanted to write for YEAAAARS but solomon kills him by stabbing meko in the back while he's holding him. and he feels so sick the whole time because he told himself he'd never turn anyone again and much less a sorcerer, but here he is killing the man he loves and turning him into a monster just like he is and technically fulfilling servius's wish by making a fourth demon-sorcerer. but it's worth it, he tells himself, if he gets to keep meko with him.

and like, he doesn't regret it, but it's guilt that still haunts him even in current day. he still has nightmares about it. it sucks. it's bad. i'm sad about meko and solomon sorry i think about them a lot

but anyway look at them

absolutely obsessed w/ them. they're gross <3

anyway uh last but not least, after they've, yknow, settled a bit, solomon accidentally stumbles upon two demon kids (twins. they're literally like 4) who got turned and abandoned by their parents, and solomon feels sorry for them and picks them up, not really intending to keep them but not wanting them to rot on the street ("i'm not running an orphanage here but god i just can't leave em there" he says, lying about not running an orphanage). and he gets attached, because of course he does. and that's how meko and solomon end up with adrian and blaine, two absolute freaklets.

and that's (mostly!) the solomon story, skipping over or skimming some major things LOL i love him so so much i'm sorry

oh uh bonus trivia:

he has a giant scraggly black cat named death who can talk and also turn into a horse (though i haven't decided if i want to keep the horse thing. it's kind of a leftover thing from the original horseman idea that i only halfway scrapped). they fucking hate each other but death sticks around anyway and solomon has no idea why. he actually likes the kids though and solomon is baffled and confused by this

"sylvester" was actually trans and was still like, settling into that when he got killed, and solomon has literally no memory of this and thinks he's amab because he's been shapeshifted as such for so long. it's kind of funny to me but also sad :(

i didn't really get to mention this but solomon's magic type is teleportation! or, like, more specifically teleportation/pocket dimensions sort of? it's a little nebulous but basically he can teleport himself and also summon things from other places as long as he knows exactly where it is. so he has like, a shit ton of knives and other weapons stored at his apartment and can just summon them at will. he can also teleport other people but it takes a lot of energy and he has to be touching them

demons all have, like, "true" forms and solomon's is his original body carrying its own head + goop wings and stuff. i wish so badly that i could draw so i could design it but aughhghhg.

when i originally made him, i was trying to prove i could make an "irredeemable" character because a friend thought i couldn't, and i was like, oh yeah? and i made him and originally he was but then i. got attached . and redeemed him. so i failed. LOL oops

i think that's all for now !!! i love him so much. guy who rewired me. i'm still fucked up about how similar he and astari*n are and it further proves that i could never put solomon in the public eye because people can't help being freaks. but i digress

solomon vale NUMERO UNO!!!!!! he's a disaster! mwah!

[edenslice]

(VERY LONG) ONE PIECE OC RAMBLE!!!!

pirate timeline: wyvern pirates (0-12) → beast pirates (12-20) → quit piracy (21-25) → straw hat ally (25-27)

relationships: siso & king | siso & yamato | siso & zoro

siso was king's favorite, even before she became tobiroppo

he found them very similar to each other, him being the last lunarian and her being the only (known) sea deity of her kind

they had a mentor-mentee relationship! king watched her grow up

siso bore no ill will against him after she defected. this is one-sided, unfortunately

he was the one who trained her in close range combat. kaido didn't order him to, he took it upon himself

(this did gave zoro an automatic upper hand against king in their battle though, because siso's fighting style is similar to his)

she was supposed to be an all-star, right next to king and queen

every time kaido offered, she would refuse and use those offers as: a) opportunities to bully and make jack feel inferior to her and b) show off how humble she is to lesser ranked officers

her actual reason, though? to be an all-star meant even lesser time to be with yamato, her only real friend. being part of the tobiroppo already required her to be on oversea missions a lot. if she took the offer yamato would be all alone

siso was the only tobiroppo to have never pillaged wano, even ordering her underlings to do the same

yeah she's pillaged any other place, just not wano. reason being yamato said not to ruin oden's home and she went Whatever U Say Handsome ♡

"okay, but—what difference would it make if my lackies and i stopped?" "if i could get people to leave wano alone, it'd start with you! then your subordinates! someday, they'll all stop, and wano's borders will open again!"

siso and yamato are each other's safe spaces ^_^ yamato considers her the love of his life and siso would do absolutely anything to make him happy

they are best friends first, lovers second

their relationship is very far from perfect though; it hit rock bottom the weeks before siso defected and only 5 years later were they able to clear things up and start to heal from their mistakes

siso felt upset at yamato's reluctance to escape, perceiving it as him being insincere

like, all bark, no bite—he ranted and ranted about how much he wanted to be like oden and sail out but when she offered to break his shackles he backed away? made a million different excuses? avoided her?

even worse, yamato always made it sound like he was still loyal to kaido, which pissed her off even moee

meanwhile, yamato was upset at siso because during the months leading up to her defection he could not recognize nor distinguish her from the others

he felt angry and betrayed—she knew how to shed off the mask of callous indifference she puts on around others and be herself around him, but now she can't? how dare she not live up to her word? how dare she treat him the same as lower scum?

he knew that siso discards and leaves anything/anyone that doesn't satisfy her needs and wants. he knew she never hesitates to put herself first, and that deep-seated fear of being abandoned made him lash out violently many times

that little voice in his head repeated, again and again: if siso helps you escape, she'll take you out to sea and leave you stranded. you've hurt her too much: no one will come back for you.

that's why, when siso defected and was forced to fight off hordes and officers who all wanted her head, yamato clamped his jaw and ran far, far away....

only when she was deep underwater, escaping successfully, did he scream at the waves his goodbye, unsure if he'd ever see her again. if she'd come back for him.

she did, of course, 5 years later, and by that time any and all resentment they held for each other was replaced by pure yearning. they've both changed for the better, and they snuck away, finally reunited

(the reason why siso couldn't come back any earlier than 5 years was her overwhelming shame for what she said, and simply because her time in onigashima was traumatizing, no matter how hard she denies it)

when siso first met the straw hats, it was in thriller bark. something about the florian triangle had pulled her in and enticed her to explore the place, disguising herself as a zombie

yes, her first encounter involved lots of screaming from the coward trio, a flustered sanji, and a very confused zoro

(did she know luffy was a god in disguise, even before he himself knew? possibly!)

the same way she had a hunch zoro was more than just a bounty hunter in their first encounter years ago

either way, siso had high (unsaid) expectations of luffy: he will become king of the pirates and be the first devil fruit user to not be hated by the sea. she'd make sure of that.

she never believed that kaido, her captain for 8 years, would claim that title. yet she wholeheartedly believes that the boy she met hours ago, wearing a straw hat and jorts that hasn't been washed in a week, would

it's the Luffy Effect™

zoro and siso met once in those 5 years, when he was still a teenage bounty hunter and she was learning east blue culture and cuisine

the grim reaper, who lived in the blade of wado ichimonji, told him something wasn't right with her. she wasn't a mere 'fishman'.

when siso left, he got a strange feeling they're gonna meet again someday, during a time when his life may come at a crossroads

and boy. teenage zoro was Right!

keep in mind siso just watched the straw hats fight kuma. she sat there, unhelpful, and observed. not out of sadistic amusement, but of genuine curiosity

bafflement too, wondering how the hell did they get that far without knowing a single thing about haki

when everyone else got up and prepared to fight, she stayed sat. when the warlord asked for luffy's head, she sneered like the rest of them. when they all got blasted away by his attacks, she took it as an opportunity to sneak away and watch from a higher, safer surface

she wasn't scared (growing up in the grand line and working for kaido eliminated general Fear) but she was scared that not everyone would come out the battle alive

when THAT Scene happened, that's when it clicked for siso, that zoro and his crewmates were the real deal. and that yamato was right in putting his faith into luffy, a pirate he never met and only knew through ace's stories

siso talked to kuma just before he was about to leave. asked him his business, and if he knew anything about ace's whereabouts (for yamato's sake) and to her shock: he acknowledged her otherness, told her that he's headed for sabaody, that ace "has been tangled up with the marines for a while". nothing more, nothing less

yes she told the straw hats they'd be seeing the warlord again in sabaody, told luffy ace's status (he waves it off as "typical ace business") (☹️), but kept shut about her true nature/goal.....

no that didn't stop them from being Poofed but at least they were a little more prepared to see kuma again!

[wrenhyperfixates]

We Make a Pretty Good Team

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: It’s game night at the Avengers Tower, and you find the perfect partner in Loki. Warnings: ‘tis but fluff A/N: Just another self-indulgent, fluffy story. Hope you enjoy :)

Tag List: @lucywrites02​​ @frostedgiant​​ @lunarmoon8​​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​​ @lokistan​​ @lowkeyorlokificrecs​​ @gaitwae​​ @whatafuckingdumbass​​ @castiels-majestic-wings​​ @kozkaboi​​ @cozy-the-overlord​​ @birdgirl90​​ @myraiswack​​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine 

“First Saturday of the month. You know what that means,” Tony hollered to the Avengers scattered about the Tower.

“Yes!” Thor boomed. “Be prepared to lose.”

“Funny,” Clint laughed with a roll of his eyes. “I was just about to say the same thing to you.”

“What is happening?” you asked, somewhat bewildered, as the heroes came into the room. “What’s significant about Saturday?”

“Oh my gosh, that’s right. You just missed the last one. Every first Saturday of the month we have a game night,” Nat explained.

You’d been part of the team for just under a month, having officially joined on a Sunday. So, it was true that you’d yet to experience their apparently traditional game night. It sounded like a great deal of fun, though, especially because the Avengers had become your second family in the short time you’d known them. Well, you’d actually known Nat and Clint for years, since you all worked for SHIELD. In fact, they were a huge part of the reason you were an Avenger now. A few months ago there was a particularly dangerous crime ring, and they’d specifically requested you as backup. You’d clicked with everyone immediately and, numerous transfer papers later, here you were.

“Sounds exciting!” you told them. “What are we playing first?”

“Well actually,” Bruce said kind of sheepishly, “it’s not that I want you to sit out, but they’re all team games, and we don’t have an even number of people.”

“So we have a team of three,” Nat said, as if it were obvious.

“No way. That’s unfair,” Tony argued.

You bit your lip, feeling like maybe you were intruding on something you shouldn’t be a part of. It was their thing, after all, and perhaps there was simply no room for a newcomer. As they continued to bicker about whether one larger team mattered or not, you considered just slipping away. That’s when you noticed that there was someone missing.

“What about Loki?” you said. “He would make the numbers even.”

Much to your surprise, everyone burst out laughing. You nervously ran your sweaty palms on the legs of your pants and let out a small laugh, though you weren’t quite sure at what. Once their cackling died down, you dared to ask what was so funny.

“My brother never attends these games nights,” Thor informed you. “He isn’t one for group activities, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“Well, have you ever invited him?”

“Once or twice,” Tony said. “Listen, if you want to try to make a social butterfly out of Reindeer Games, be my guest. In the meantime, we’ll work out a feasible way for us all to play.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed a little, standing up to go find Loki. It was honestly ridiculous that they still treated him the way they did. Sure, he likes to be alone sometimes, but that doesn’t mean he likes being lonely. Not that he’d ever actually admitted to you that he was, but you knew. It was blatantly obvious in the way he sent longing glances toward the rest of the team when you gathered together. You always made sure to ask him over, an invitation he usually accepted. Everyone else had laughed the first time you’d done that, too. They’d only ever asked him a few times, and it was right when he was new and still so lost, so alone, so afraid. Why they took that to just be his permanent disposition, you didn’t know. Regardless of how insensitive they were to his situation, your inclusivity had brought Loki out of his shell a bit, and a friendship had blossomed between you.

A short walk later, you reached his door. You stretched out a hand, but hesitated to knock. Doubt gnawed at the back of your mind. Maybe he truly was not a fan of board games, and then you’d be interrupting his night. After all, he must have a tradition of his own if this happens every first Saturday. Still, you knew that was usually not the case, and steeled yourself against the uncertainty.

“Hello, my little mortal,” he greeted you, opening the door. “Is everything alright?”

“No.”

“What is it? Are you ill? Hurt?” he questioned, jumping into action and shepherding you to his couch.

“No, nothing like that,” you laughed, though you were touched by his concern. “It’s just that it’s game night, and we don’t have an even number of people.”

“Oh? And I suppose that you are asking me to join,” he mused as you nodded. “I am not usually invited, and I am notorious spoiled sport, just ask Thor.”

“Well, people say a lot of things about you, and they’re usually not true.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t have to play if you really don’t want to, but will you? Please. For me?”

“For you, my little mortal, anything. After all, how can I resist those puppy dog eyes?”

You giggled and led the way out of his room, ignoring the thumping of your heart when his hand accidentally brushed yours. Nat and Tony were still bickering about the teams when you arrived, but were quickly stunned into silence when they saw Loki.

“Brother! Good to see you’ve decided to join,” Thor greeted, breaking the somewhat awkward silence. “Shall we begin then?”

First up was Cranium, and you could tell that everyone else was divided into their usual teams: Tony and Bruce, Clint and Nat, Thor and Steve. You rubbed your hands in excitement, ready for some friendly competition.

“Yes!” you shouted a while later, after you and Loki answered the final question right. “We win!”

Everyone else’s jaw hung open, shocked by how serious of a competitor you were. Not to say you were mean-spirited or gloated or anything, but it was obvious you took game night very seriously. Loki was a little surprised too, but he relished in the infectious energy of your feisty spirit. Not to mention he absolutely loved to be on the winning team.

“Congratulations, guys,” Steve said. “Don’t expect to get as lucky in the next game, though.”

The next game, apparently, was charades, which you and Loki absolutely dominated again. The two of you worked as a well-oiled machine, guessing the simple ones like sewing and the more obscure ones like whale watching with ease. Loki was also surprisingly knowledgeable about Midgardian movies and literature. The two of you high fived, having just edged out the competition.

“Wow, good job guys,” Nat congratulated. “Tony and Bruce usually win that one.”

“Way to rub it in,” Tony groaned, flopping back on the couch.

You could tell a part of him wanted to accuse Loki of cheating but, having no real evidence and not wanting to start a fight, restrained himself. Instead, he contented himself with just mumbling how much of an outrage it was. You, however, were on cloud nine.

As the next game was set up, Loki pulled you onto his lap, instilled with confidence after his latest wins. Of course, if anyone were to ask, he would just say he was saving room on the couch. It would have, though, been a lie.

“Ready for a clean sweep, my little mortal?” he whispered, his breath surprising cold on your ear.

“Bring it on!” you whispered back with a wink.

The last game of the night was Pictionary, and by now everyone knew you and Loki were the team to beat. Unfortunately for them, you got this win, too. The Avengers let out a collective sigh as you shouted a victorious whoop and hugged Loki.

“Good game everyone,” you said, starting to help clean up.

“What are you doing, my little mortal?” Loki questioned, half joking. “Do you not know the losers have to clean up?”

“Not sure that’s actually a rule, Rock of Ages,” Tony grumbled.

“Fine, I’ll help,” he replied, placing a singular piece back in the box. “There. Now it is time for our victory lap.”

Then he scooped you up bridal style using his superhuman strength and began running you around the Tower in his arms, both laughing the whole time. He finally brought you to a stop on the balcony of his room.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that right?” you said, still chuckling.

“Perhaps. But we deserved that after an excellent showing.”

“I guess so. As much as it pains me to admit it, we should probably go easy on them next time. We’ll just win one a night, ok?”

“That’s my little mortal,” he happily sighed, wrapping his arms around you. “Always looking out for others. Always looking out for me. Thank you for inviting me along tonight.”

“No problem. It was a lot of fun. We make a pretty good team.”

“Indeed.”

A comfortable silence settled between you, and you rested against Loki, whose arms were still wrapped around you. He felt more relaxed and happy than he had in a while. He knew he’d ask you out someday, but right now he was still too shy, this friendship still too new. One day he would, though, and he couldn’t wait to get there and to every day after.

[ot3]

Sorry to bother - feel free to ignore. I’m trying to write an orv fic bc. I like them. And I’m having trouble understanding why with the regression depression it’s the happy memories that get yjh the most. Best I can figure it’s bc he can use the bad memories to propel him forward - like he’s doing this to avenge them. But the good memories force him to realize these people are gone and he’ll never see them again. Do you have any thoughts? Thanks!

i think that's definitely more or less accurate! i think the 'those people are gone and he'll never see them again' bit you've pointed out is the critical piece here. ill stick my further thoughts below the cut. this is really long because i've pulled a LOT of long chunks of text from the novel to shore up this point. i just got home from work so my thoughts are gonna be a little bit incoherent here. skip to the end if you're not interested in reading all the segments i pulled from the text. spoilers all the way up through chapter 508

first things first, let's just go back to the novel and look at all the bits where YJH's depression gets brought up

“Maybe Yoo Jonghyuk-nim has already repeated a few lives. You have fought against terrible enemies and struggled against the beings of this world to save people. Enduring alone, lonely memories… We respect your sublime spirit.”

This jerk, such skillful flattery. Yoo Jonghyuk would be moved to tears if he heard. Later when he was depressed, I would have to tell him these words.

“But Yoo Jonghyuk-nim should’ve realized it from your past regressions. Even if you have an outstanding miracle, you alone can’t fight against the disasters that will come.”

Plus, he was right.

- from ch 48

「 Everything is twisted because of this person. 」

「 It is different from what I know in the earlier regressions. The amount of information available is too limited. I can’t save the world like this. 」

What was this?

「 The reason I was hurt by the Salvation Church was because we spent too much time in the last round. It was a mistake to train for 100 years then. My mind was permanently damaged. 」

「 Maybe it was a mistake not to get the Absolute Throne.  」

「 I will start from the beginning again… 」

Dammit, the regressor’s depression had begun. Was it due to the mental attack? I cried out in fear of what he would decide. “I’m hurt you jerk!”

- from ch 140

「 Those people can’t save the world, even with 100 trucks. 」

「 Once again, the answer is regression… 」

“Now now, our Supreme King isn’t in a good mood right now so back off. Do you want to die?” I personally stepped forward to get rid of any causes of depression.

- later on in ch140 as well

This jerk, he was always so impatient. He had been given time to rest but he was still busy thinking. Regardless of his depressed state, Yoo Jonghyuk was Yoo Jonghyuk.

“Before that, let’s take a moment to breath. The view is great.” I said while sitting on the roof railing.

Yoo Jonghyuk asked me, “What are you up to?”

“I’m just looking at the world. Isn’t it beautiful?” The city of Seoul was destroyed by the monsters. I quickly added, “It was originally a beautiful place.”

“I don’t like landscapes.”

“Why?”

“They are things that will disappear someday.”

I thought I had a bit more understanding of the third regression Yoo Jonghyuk after fighting against Shin Yoosung. I wanted to believe he was a person who could love this world without giving up or feeling despair.

I told him, “However, we need to protect these things.”

“Kim Dokja, you don’t know.”

This might be my misunderstanding. Yoo Jonghyuk could give up at any time because he was still in the midst of his regressions.

In the end, Yoo Jonghyuk’s purpose was to prevent the ‘destruction of this world.’ Paradoxically, he could give up on this world at any time. His essence was regression and this fact would never change.

“No, I know,” I replied.

“What?”

“The fact that you can regress at any time means that death is meaningless.”

I looked down at Lee Seolhwa caring for the injured. Lee Seolhwa was feeding her boiled soup to an unknown person. Despite her efforts, there was a high probability that the character would die. Even if they lied now, they would die tomorrow. If they miraculously survived tomorrow, they would die the day after tomorrow.

It was the same in the fourth regression and the fifth regression. There would always be ‘death’ in the world of Yoo Jonghyuk, even after passing the 100th regression.

“If there is no sense of death then the value of life also disappears.”

- ch141

There was the vague belief that he could do better in the next round with more information. It was easy for him to give up on this regression if something went wrong.

This was the precursor symptom of ‘regression depression.’ Some of the contents of Ways of Survival passed through my head.

It was around the 48th regression. Yoo Jonghyuk had consulted with an incarnation of the constellation ‘Discoverer of the Subconscious’ on the ‘regression depression.’ At the time, he seemed to be speaking like I was now.

I continued speaking, “Yes. It might be as you say. If you repeat it 10 or 20 times then it will surely get better. You’ll be exposed to more scenarios and see more of the future. The real problem is when you someday save the world in this manner.”

“What does this mean?”

“At that time, do you really think you saved this world?”

“…”

“Do you think you will be able to keep the same mindset after repeating it 100 or 200 times?”

“I won’t regress that many times.”

I silently stared at Yoo Jonghyuk.

「 …Don’t tell me? 」 Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes slowly widened.

I kept speaking, “Are you having nightmares these days?”

“…”

“You won’t be saved, even if you save the world. The moment you save the world, the worlds you have forsaken will come to you. Despite saving one world, all the other worlds you abandoned will drag you to hell.”

- from further down in ch141

「 Yoo Jonghyuk felt lonely as he saw these watches. They got their time back but he still wasn’t

living in this time. Yoo Jonghyuk suddenly thought. If so, where do I live in those countless hours? 」

It was the monologue of Yoo Jonghyuk, who once saved the Demon World. It was also one of my favourite scenes from Ways of Survival.

I suddenly seemed to understand a bit of his mind. To the regressor Yoo Jonghyuk, the time in these worlds didn’t belong to him. In a life that could go back over and over again, the present time was meaningless.

Once this was over, I would ask Aileen to make me a watch. If he had something like this, he might become more attached to this world. Maybe the regression depression would get better…

- ch 207

A person who regressed more than a thousand times. A spirit that had become insensitive from the hundreds of suicides and tragedies that an individual could suffer. The extremely widespread regression depression…

「 Yoo Jonghyuk of the 1863rd round is the despair of the world itself. 」

- ch 285

Abnormal condition? There was no way. Who was the 1863rd regression Yoo Jonghyuk? This was Yoo Jonghyuk who was the Ruler of the East Hell and killed the Devil of Principles. There was no one among the constellations who could place an abnormal condition on the present Yoo Jonghyuk.

Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes were blank.

I felt uncomfortable like something was stuck in my throat. No, there was. There was only one person who could cause an abnormal status in Yoo Jonghyuk.

+

* The target is suffering from ‘regression depression’ due to an unknown cause.

+

It was Yoo Jonghyuk himself.

Regression depression. The spirit of the man who had been broken over 1863 lives made the regression depression almost a passive, low level skill. Once he fell into the depression, his consciousness was caught in the weight of his memories and he couldn’t wake up.

[Kill him! He isn’t invincible!]

The ruthless strikes caused Yoo Jonghyuk’s body to bleed little by little. It was strange. Originally, the regression depression shouldn’t occur in this situation. In the 1863rd round, Yoo Jonghyuk had learnt how to manage this disease.

- ch 286

then this REALLY LONG BIT from 287. it has stopped letting me indent for some reason so i guess ill bold this.

I knew how to wake up Yoo Jonghyuk from his regression depression. In other words, it meant I also knew how to sink him deeper into that melancholy.

I saw Yoo Jonghyuk’s fingertips moving and opened my mouth. “Do you remember? The 33rd round. You cleared the 40th scenario and Lee Jihye said this.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes dimmed and his moving fingertips stopped.

「 “It would be nice if Master didn’t have to go to the next round.” 」

“Think about it. You weren’t always unhappy. Right? In all the rounds, there were moments when you were happy.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s expression was becoming stiffer.

“The 173rd round. You protected Earth for quite some time. You also saw Lee Jihye receiving her high school diploma and Lee Seolhwa smiling at someone’s child.”

「 “Jonghyuk-ssi, are you happy that you’re alive?” 」

Every time I spoke, Yoo Jonghyuk’s expression collapsed. It wasn’t despair that broke down Yoo Jonghyuk.

“The 383rd round. You finally cleared the 75th scenario. Fortunately, nobody died in that round. That was the first time. Then Lee Hyunsung told you.”

「 “Jonghyuk-ssi, I won’t forget today until I die.” 」

The feather-like memories sank into his head.

“Then the 498th round…”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s palms moved to cover his ears. The usual Yoo Jonghyuk wouldn’t have fallen from this much. Now it was different. I held his hands and kept talking. “That happened 10 times.”

A human sank deeper into the water just because of the weight of these feathers.

“Twenty times.”

My breath clogged up and my lungs tightened. I could feel what Yoo Jonghyuk was going through. Only I could feel it. The most primitive darkness at the bottom of one person was swallowing his ego greedily.

“100 times. It repeated over 1,000 times.”

All those words were destroyed. All the happy memories flowed back to a time they could never return to. Through the countless regressions, the meaning of happiness faded. All the values he preserved became pieces of torn paper.

“Yoo Jonghyuk.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s self was sinking into the deep sea. It was to a place that he could never come up from without someone’s help.

“Have you protected all the things you wanted to keep?”

I looked at Yoo Jonghyuk’s miserable face and thought: Don’t worry Yoo Jonghyuk. I’ll do the rest. You stop and rest.

[Your understanding of the character ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ is increasing explosively.]

Yoo Jonghyuk’s empty eyes were showing memories of losing his master. I didn’t use Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint but it wasn’t hard to read.

「 I want to die. 」

「 I want to finish all of this. 」

「 If only I can never wake up. 」

A few drops of rain fell from the sky. It was black rain made from the blood of the demon kings and constellations. Liquid also flowed onto Yoo Jonghyuk’s face. Yoo Jonghyuk’s gaze lowered and finally fell on me.

I was looking at the moment a human’s spirit collapsed. There was a broken voice. Like a creaking machine, Yoo Jonghyuk stammered, “Wh,at… should, I, d…o?”

i think this one is obviously very important.

then, the 'have you protected all you wanted to protect' stuff obviously reaches its culmination in the finale

⸢The regression depression.⸥

That was the only weakness of Yu Jung-Hyeok, who had repeatedly regressed for a very long time.

[In the 173rd turn. You managed to protect Earth for a pretty long time. You got to see Yi Ji-Hye receive her high school diploma, and you even got to see Yi Seol-Hwa smile with another’s child in her arms.]

The light in Yu Jung-Hyeok’s eyes was wavering.

⸢It wasn’t despair that could defeat Yu Jung-Hyeok.⸥

⸢Small feather-like memories settled down inside his head one by one.⸥

The ‘Dokkaebi King’ was using the exact same method I relied on back then.

⸢The breathing got harder, and the lungs were getting tighter.⸥

⸢A man drowning in water would sink even deeper under the surface from the weight of a mere feather.⸥

I couldn’t afford to idly watch on anymore. I shouted at Yu Jung-Hyeok, telling him to wake up, and not to fall for such an illusion.

However, my voice couldn’t reach them as if a non-conductive barrier was set up between us. And the ‘Dokkaebi King’ was smiling away, perhaps to mock this entire story.

[Yu Jung-Hyeok, have you protected all that you wanted to protect?]

Slowly, Yu Jung-Hyeok’s knees sank down.

I roused the Status of Fables. I needed to undo that ⸢Stage Transformation⸥ right now, But, how should I…

Grab.

There was a hand still tightly clutching mine. It was Han Su-Yeong.

“That’s not a battle you can interfere in.”

“But, if he’s left alone….!”

“….Even a star that can’t be seen still emits light. You said that, right?”

….A star that can’t be seen?

Her words made me look back at Yu Jung-Hyeok once more.

His gaze being lowered had come to a stop. Blinding sparks were completely enveloping him.

Tsu-chuchuchuchu….

Something was waking up his fading consciousness.

[Great Fable, ‘Ones that Remember the Apocalypse’, has begun its storytelling!]

That was a Fable I wasn’t aware of.

As the sparks lessened gradually, several silhouettes revealed themselves. Now that I took a closer look, Yu Jung-Hyeok wasn’t alone. No, four others were standing beside him.

A tall man, a young man with blonde hair, a girl with a ponytail, and finally…

[[He couldn’t protect anyone. That’s why he now stands in this place.]]

….An Archangel with blindingly-pure wings.

Astonishment quickly dyed the Dokkaebi King’s expression.

The Fable from the destroyed 999th turn was now burning brightly like the conflagration of end times on the edges of the Archangel’s blade.

[[Because he believes there are still things left to protect.]]

- from ch 508

Now here's a couple of tidbits about depression when it comes up for Other entities:

The fastest thing to get shaved away after becoming a Constellation was their own ‘Fable’. The more a Constellation depleted its story, the weaker its power would get. They would grow bored, disinterested, fall into depression, or lose themselves in tedium.

Constellations would desperately seek out other Fables in order to escape from such a quagmire. In other words, they would search for a new tragedy to escape from this horrible eternal cycle, even if it was only for a brief moment.

- ch 498

⸢[Constellation, ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’s’ ■■ is ‘Something that can’t be found’.]⸥

I had read what his ■■ was from the original novel. His description showed up when he became Yu Jung-Hyeok’s ally for a little while during the 1863rd turn.

⸢The evil dragon suffering from the worst possible depression in this <Star Stream>.⸥

The reason why the ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ believed his age to be 15 was simply that he’d not be able to continue on if he didn’t.

A life stretching for thousands, no, tens of thousands of years, made an originally solitary dragon into such a creature.

In order to stop itself from decaying, he chose not to age. He chose not to lose his curiosity of the world. He chose to torment Incarnations or play bizarre pranks. And for his final prank, he even chose to betray the ‘Absolute Evil’, too. He stood on Yu Jung-Hyeok’s side and while mocking the <Star Stream>, breathed his last.

- ch 503

okay so

i think there are a couple of different ways to look at the regression depression in line with each of orv's 'themes'. of course despair at losing his comrades is the main primary emotion here, but there's subtler stuff going on here too.

for starters, the foundational components of any creature within the star stream is its stories. the more your stories are known and shared the more powerful they are, etc, etc. time and time again their shared stories are the thing to save them and ground them. but as we see with the hellscape of eternity, yjh begins to become isolated from the interpersonal aspect of the story as he loses the people he originally formed these stories with. the stories are how people communicate. as YJH progresses through his regressions he is unable to relate to the 'story' in the way you are supposed to, and this essentially causes a complete ego death. life no longer has any meaning for him, because he is fundamentally incapable of connecting with people. the [impossible communication] of a life and a burden that can't be shared.

then there's the [samsara] aspect - being worn down by the endless repetition of fate. everything is the same, over and over again, and yet we still delve into it hoping to get something new out of it. maybe the story will be different this time. ABFD was able to stave off depression by keeping himself in a state of permanent novelty - there was still something left to discover - but as YJH progresses through the regressions and falls deeper and deeper into repeating the same pattern, the tedium becomes too much. he has nothing new to experience. he has repeated everything this reality has to offer - or so he thinks - and it shows no sign of ever changing. if it's the same every time, why stick around? why not go again? it doesn't matter. none of it matters. you are just part of the wheel.

and if we think of it in terms of [good and evil] we see yjh slowly become something that almost any human being would call a monster. as kdj says in that conversation with anna croft near the end, "can you really call someone a human if you have to look so hard to find their humanity?" as far as it goes. yjh commits some atrocities! Because of said aforementioned removal from reality and ego death, he is able to fully justify any action it takes no matter how horrendous. and yet his noble goal never changes. undeniably, what he is by the end is some sort of monster. but still, of course, just a man. and he knows this. he feels himself slipping a little bit more, every regression. he knows its coming. and he doesn't want it. he wants to maintain his humanity.

but really i think we can almost best think of yjh's regression depression as almost his equivalent to the [fourth wall]. whereas the 4th wall is a unique passive skill that protects kim dokja by preventing him from fully conceptualizing what's happening to him as 'reality', the regression depression harms yjh by preventing him from conceptualizing what's happening to him as 'reality'. in a sense, his friends and loved ones have almost become 'characters' to him as well, as he already knows the way this story happens. he is an outsider, observing these beings interact with each other but not quite the same as them. he is an anachronism. this isn't his present. this is a present, one he can take or leave at any time. the thing yjh does in his later regressions - using people as tools - is something kdj does in the beginning of his journey. because, well, it doesnt matter if this isn't the 'real world'! they mirror each other.

that ended up being so much longer than i thought it would im sorry. i hope this was even like 10% helpful.

[justfangirlthingies]

Talking to the Moon (Billy Hargrove)

Another songfic. This one is based on "Talking to the Moon" by Bruno Mars

Word count: 2049 words

Warnings: a swear word I think?, mentions of death, description of death, this is basically fueled by angst, sad, mental illness I guess (I think that's it), allusions to sex

I may or may not have made myself cry while writing this

"I know you're somewhere out there" you whispered as you were seated in your driveway, leaning against a car, long abandoned. His car.

Denial. That's what one could call your situation. Struck with grief and pain, yet still not recognizing it.

"Somewhere far away, but that's okay I'll find you or maybe you'll find me." A sad smile traced your lips as your eyes began to water. You gazed at the starry night sky, the moon, shining as bright as ever, illuminating your frame.

You couldn't accept it. And why would you? Just to have your world shutter to pieces before your feet? No thanks!

"I want you back,"

It never happened. Not as long as you refused to believe it. It just had to be some cruel joke. IT HAD TO BE!

Slowly flashes of memories invaded your thoughts and unfolded before your eyes. The way he sacrificed himself in order to save all of you. The way he was impaled from all directions by the beast and how his blood soaked the white tank top he had been wearing that evening. The way his limp body dropped to the floor. How he just laid there unconscious in a puddle of of his own blood. How they had to drag you and Max away from his body, but you wouldn't budge. "No Billy! BILLY! Come on! D-don't do this to me! You can't just leave me here like that!" In that moment you either wanted him to wake up or to just lie down and leave this place with him, but you couldn't do that to your family and friends. And to think that fateful day was your anniversary as well. You quickly pushed your thoughts and trauma to the back of your mind.

"I want you back Billy, please just come back home." Slowly the silent tears started escaping your eyes.

A hand pat your shoulder causing your features to flash with hope. Yet, it wasn't him. "Come on you gotta go back inside" It was just your little brother. The hopeful glimmer in your eyes vanished as you slowly got up. "I know... I know" You muttered and when you had made it to the front door you glanced at the old car again, wiping at your face to dry the tears.

"(Y/n) do you wanna watch a movie or maybe meet up with the gang? They miss you." Your face contorted to one of agony and you flinched at the mention of the kids and some of your friends. However, you quickly tried to mask it up and flashed your brother a smile "Sorry Dustin, those are your friends I'm just your babysitter. Have fun though." You ruffled his hair and just like that you left your little brother standing in the hallway as you made a beeline for your bedroom.

▪︎

▪︎

▪︎

My neighbors think I'm crazy. But they don't understand

Whenever you left the house you got weird or pitiful looks thrown in your direction. It was no wonder you stopped leaving the house. And quite honestly, you were beginning to feel better. You felt better, not because you finally accepted the decision fate had made, but rather because you started to drift off. Reminiscing about the good times and creating your own little world in your head where everything was just fine. Or maybe you were just feeling numb by now...

"You're all I had, you're all I had and you're all I'd ever need" you mumbled to yourself and to the night sky.

At night, when the stars light up my room. I sit by myself. Talking to the moon

You often sat on your windowsill as you told him all that happened on each day. Sometimes you'd rant about your job. Other times you'd ask him questions and beg him to come back to you.

Trying to get to you. In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too

Could he even hear you? See you? Know you were trying to contact him somehow? If the upside down was real, then so was the chance he might be out there somewhere, right? It was a desparate last glimmer of hope you had left.

"Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon? Maybe I am..." Oh

▪︎

▪︎

▪︎

I'm feeling like I'm famous, the talk of the town.

Of course you noticed the people watching you and talking about you behind your back. They say I've gone mad. Apparently they had nothing better to do than talk about you.

Yeah, I've gone mad. But they don't know what I know

One night when you were rambling into the night you heard his voice.

'Cause when the sun goes down, someone's talking back.

It was faint at first, but it got louder and steadier and sounded more like him.

Yeah, they're talking back, oh. At night, when the stars light up my room

And that was when hope returned to you. You left your room less and less, your family and friends growing more worried with each passing day. They barely got to see you.

I sit by myself. Talking to the moon

You didn't even notice how you neglected your needs.

Trying to get to you

You were too busy talking to him. Too busy to eat or sleep. To anxious that he'd be gone again if you left for too long.

In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too

Your family was at their wits end. They didn't know how they could help you. But you didn't think you needed help. You had Billy and that was all that mattered to you.

Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?

Slowly your brain had repressed the trauma, leaving it on the threshold between consciousness and unconsciousness. The images of the distressing and traumatizing memories only appearing in your sleep. In your nightmare plagued sleep.

Do you ever hear me calling? (Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh. 'Cause every night, I'm talking to the moon

They were just nightmares, nothing more. After all he was here. What did you need sleep for when you could be awake and talk to Billy

Still trying to get to you

You had gotten lost in your own fantasy. A different reality where your boyfriend was still alive. Where he was still his usual cocky, jealous overprotective, but loving self, the one you fell in love with.

In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too

Today was your anniversary. You dressed up nicely and left your room for the first time in forever. Describing your family as shocked when you left your room, went to grab a shopping basket and put on your shoes was an understatement. You flashed a bright smile at them when you saw them. "(Y/n)? What's got you in such a good mood? Are you going out?" Your mother was a little worried about your sudden change in demeanor, but quickly pushed those doubts aside. She was delighted at how happy you seemed. She didn't want to see in what bad shape you were, didn't want to notice how weird that smile looked on your exhausted posture or how that smile didn't actually reach your glassed over, dull (e/c) eyes. Eyes that shone bright with love, hope and life once. She didn't want to realize that you were just a shell of yourself.

What she did notice though, was the effort you put into looking nice today and that you actually wanted to leave your room and even the house.

"Yes mum, of course I'm in a good mood!" you exclaimed, you almost seemed like you were in some kind of trance. "It's our anniversary today. I'll go buy a few things to surprise Billy with his favourite dish for when he comes over later" and just like that you were out the door. Leaving your mother with confusion and worry written all over her face. Dustin had noticed the whole ordeal, however he did not choose to blatantly ignore your change in behaviour. "I have an idea, I know someone who might be able to help." Just like that your brother had left through the front door, sprinting to his friend's home.

▪︎

▪︎

▪︎

Or am I a fool, who sits alone,

You had spent your afternoon cooking and baking for your boyfriend. You prepared everything, now all you had to do was wait for him.

talking to the moon? Oh

A grin made itself prominent on your face as you thought about your favourite anniversary, the one three years ago. The weather was nice and Billy took you to the fun fair that just happened to be in town. He kept you close to him and would've punched anyone who laid their eyes on you for too long if you hadn't stopped him. "Don't worry, I'm only yours Hargrove" you beamed at him with delight in your eyes as you pressed a tender kiss to his cheek. After that he won you a stuffed animal and you got some cotton candy together.

"I love you, you know that right? I'll stay by your side forever you'll see. And I'll never leave you, like my asshole of a father left my mum, I promise. The two of us, we'll stay together for eternity" The blonde told you that evening when you were in bed, snuggled up cozily together after he had shown you just how much he loved you in every possible way. You moved your head which was resting on his naked chest slightly so you could properly look at him. His eyes held so much love, passion, adoration and tenderness for you in them and you knew yours did too "Forever huh?" you grinned as he brushed a strand of hair out of your face. You could feel his fingers trace patterns on your back and arms as his strong arms pulled you impossibly closer to his body, the scent of his cologne engulfing you. "You better keep that promise then because I love you too." A cocky smirk appeared on his face and there was a short pause, a comfortable silence, as you pondered "Billy?" The boy hummed in response, his fingers still caressing your soft skin. "Can you promise to show me the beaches in Cali someday as well?" You felt your boyfriends chest vibrating as he chuckled softly "I think that I can manage (Y/n)" That's how you drifted off to sleep that night.

"(Y/n)..." a soft voice cautiously brought you back to your reality. "It's been three years." Your eyes were wide as you found yourself face to face with Maxine Mayfield, Billy's half-sister. He always acted like he hated it when someone called them siblings, when in reality he didn't mind at all. He loved his sister, he just had a special way of showing it. "What are you doing here? And what are you even talking about?" A smile was on your face. "As much as I love our silly little talks Max, I must advice you leave. Billy will come home any minute now and you know how he can get when he has plans and you appear out of nowhere." a giggle left your throat. As you spoke your eyes started swimming with tears. Why? You didn't know.

"(Y/n) listen to me. Billy died three years ago today, he's not gonna come to your anniversary. You just made up that he's still here with you because you couldn't handle his death. Not with how brutal it was." Tears were now pouring from your eyes as you shook your head. Realization dawning on you. "No...that-that's not true" you said, your voice cracking halfway. "Three-three years ago he took me to the funfair and-" you stopped mid sentence as the images from your nightmares unraveled before you. Max pulled you into her embrace and you hugged her back immediately, your whole body racking with sobs. The redhead also shed a few tears, not only because of her dead brother but also because of the state you were in. "I know, I know..." she soothed you

I know you're somewhere out there.

Somewhere far away...

[333dolans]

If By Chance Pt. 2 // E.D

Part 1

Summary: It’s been 2 years since she’d last seen him, what would happen if by chance they were to meet once more?

Sorry for being gone for so long! Ive been super busy and just haven’t had any time to write. I’ll hopefully post a bit more regularly this year! I love you all mwah!!🥰

4:35pm, Great.

It was the first time she would be seeing Gray in what felt like eternity and she was already late, Classic Rory. In her defence, he had agreed to pick her up but a meeting running over later than expected meant she was left to fend for herself. The fact that she didn’t know her way around LA yet paired along with her general lack of time management left her here, outside of the adorable, little cafe Gray had sent her the address for.

She felt the explosion of butterflies erupt within her stomach at the sight of his car and pulled in next to it. She took a moment to compose her thoughts that seemed to be racing along with her heart. Taking a final deep breath, she climbed out from her car and made a start towards the cafe door.

From the very moment she laid her eyes on his tall figure, nothing could of slowed the pace she ran towards him. She called out his name and as he glanced up from his phone, the widest smile took over his face. Opening up his arms just in time, he caught her in his warm embrace. It felt good to be home.

“I missed you so much.” He sighed contently, spinning her around one more time before placing her body back firmly on the ground.

“Missed you more Grapeson.” She replied with a smirk.

“Wow... that’s gotta be a record, we’ve been together what? One whole minute and you’ve already said it.” He rolled his eyes, coaxing a giggle from Rory.

“I said we were bringing it back my love and i meant it!” She grinned smugly up at him before grabbing his hand and leading them into the coffee shop. As the little bell chimed, they were greeted by an older woman who beamed their way.

“Hello Grayson! Your usual i assume? And what can i get for you sweetheart?” She asked with a warm smile.

“Ill go get us a table, i know the best seats.” Grayson told her before wondering off to a far corner in the store.

“Ill get a hot chocolate please.” She replied graciously with a shy smile and the woman was quick to get started on the order.

“I’m Genevieve by the way but you my dear, can call me Gen! You know Grayson never mentioned he had a girlfriend, you’re absolutely gorgeous.” She began to make small talk as she poured Grayson’s coffee into its cup. Rory choked on air at gen’s words, gaping at her in shock.

“Were- were not together, just good friends.” She said with a deep blush.

“Oh my bad! You two would make a beautiful couple if i might say.”

Rory couldn’t help but smile at Gen’s bluntness, she loved her already. After some more casual conversation, Rory said her thank you to Gen and headed off toward the table Grayson had saved, gently placing their drinks on the tabletop before sliding into the booth seat. These seats in particular looked out onto a beautiful landscape and Rory couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as she sank lower into the leather of the seat, this day couldn’t have gone any better. Nothing had changed between her and gray and she couldn’t be more thankful.

The two sat and talked for hours as the sun began to set on the city that awaited them just outside of the window. They filled each other in on everything and anything they could think of, from childhood memories to the launch of wakeheart. It was inevitable really, that they would eventually end up on the topic of a certain twin brother. No matter how much Rory had tried to change the subject, he always found a way back into the conversation, she knew shed have to face the music someday anyway, may as well bite the bullet sooner rather than later.

“He misses you, you know? He may be an absolute idiot and too damn stubborn to ever admit it but i know that he does. He still reads through your old messages and looks at old photos. He still checks your socials every now and then, I’ve seen him.”

Rory sighed with a small shake of her head.

“Gray, he dropped me remember? No one told him he had to do that, he got a girlfriend and she became more important. That’s life i guess and I’ve dealt with that knowledge for years now. He prioritised her over me and that’s on him.” She let her gaze drift from his face to the window beside her, now littered with stray raindrops from the light drizzle that had began.

She allowed herself to breathe deeply, basking in the feelings that a crisp fall breeze always managed to stir within her. God, did she love autumn. Nothing could compare to the sight of the leaves changing to colours of fire and passion before her very eyes. Along with the colder weather came rainy days, and with rainy days? Time she could spend huddled up in front of a window reading whatever book she’d chosen for that week. Everyone who has ever known Rory, would know full well she would would be half way through that book within the space of a few hours.

Something about the rain had always enticed her, she felt a strange comfort within the damp weather that left most people feeling miserable. She thrived in it, wanting nothing more than to cozy up in fluffy socks and warm layers of clothes and watch droplets race along the panes of the nearest window.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Slightly startled from his sudden appearance, she beckoned her breathing to calm down to a steady pace once again. She allowed her eyes to trail up his tall frame, soaking him in as much as she could. There stood Ethan in all his glory along with a piping hot mug of her favourite, hot chocolate. Rory was never much of a coffee drinker, always having a sweet tooth and preferring the chocolatey taste to the bitterness a cup of coffee would leave in her mouth for hours. Besides, no one likes coffee breath. She allowed her gaze to retreat back to its fixed spot, staring out into the forest that lined the perimeter of the Dolan’s backyard.

“Then I hate to break it to you E but you’ll be short of quite a few pennies by the time you’ve heard all of the thoughts that are running around my mind right now.”

She allowed a defeated sigh to slip past her lips, filling the silence that had fallen between the two. It was true, her mind had been all over the place ever since the moment the twins had told her of their plan to pursue a career in Los Angeles. She felt like her world was collapsing in on her and in a way, it was. Her whole life as she knew it consisted of Ethan and Grayson Dolan, she had spent practically everyday with the pair for as long as she could remember and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that chapter of her life to be over.

“A hot chocolate instead? Please Rory, talk to me. I know this is going to be a big change for you, but it is for me and Grayson too yeah? Were all going to be feeling the same emotions in the next few weeks, we have to be there for each other and I can’t do that if you wont open up to me.”

Sliding down opposite her small frame on the cold hardwood floor of his childhood home, Ethan couldn’t help but become overwhelmed by his emotions. This had been his home for many years, it contained so many memories. These very walls had been witness to the life of the three best friends and the idea of leaving this part of his life behind, leaving his best friend behind? It tore Ethan to pieces but he was also optimistic for this exciting new chapter. He tried to remain positive and think of the new adventures they will get to have in the city of angels. The memories he can make with the ones he holds closest.

“Everything is changing E. I don’t think I’m ready to move on from this, I don’t want to be left behind again. I’m going to be so alone here, you guys are the only real friends I have. I don’t want to lose you, or Grayson.”

A stray tear made it’s way down her cheek as the rain continued outside. She looked up to meet the eyes of her best friend, the boy she’d always love. His hand reached out for hers and clasped it tightly in his own. She saw a flash of hope flash across his beautiful brown eyes that she adored so much.

“You could come with us you know? There’s a spare room in the apartment and you know I...we would love to have you there with us. We could go on so many adventures and explore California and we could-“

“E, as wonderful as that sounds, you know my mom would never let me just drop everything and go. What about school? College? You know what she expects of me. I really wish it was that simple.”

In that moment, Rory swore she saw a small piece of Ethan’s heart break away before her very eyes. She forced her tears back, choking slightly from the lack of air that seemed to be escaping her lungs. Why did this have to be so hard? Ethan paused for what felt like eternity before speaking once more.

“I’m going to miss you so much my little lion, so fucking much.”

He outstretched his arms, his warm embrace calling her name. She crawled over to him, closing the small gap that was between them. She clung to his torso as he stroked his fingers through her hair soothingly.

“Nothing is going to change between us Rory, absolutely nothing.”

“Why don’t you come back to our place? I’m not ready to say goodbye yet anyway and I know he’d love to see you. Please, just for a little while?” Gray’s words snapped her back from her reminiscing. He looked into her eyes with such hope, she just couldn’t say no to him.

“God damn those puppy eyes” she cursed under her breath, causing a smirk from Grayson who sat opposite her with a triumphant look on his face.

“I better not regret this Dolan.”

Tags: @rhyrhy462 @evergreendolan @dolansficsandpics @fangdolan @livexdolan @blindedbythelightt @baby-grayson @prettyboydolan @delightfuldolan @sosweetgrethan @episkygrant @resilientdolan @pineappledols @vinylhazza @hydrograyson @velvetdolan @baby-turtles @szadolans @cutestdolans @brockdolan @mercurygrant @abstractstardiva @guiltydols @blazedgraysons @blackpinkdolan @vintagedolan @babeygray @babey-gray @dolanpornhub @onlyyyariii @voidmalfoy @glossydols @graysonsdolansbabygirl @spideysimpossiblegirl @lovingdolans @bubsdolan @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @dolansbeanies @graydolan12 @dolantissue @thecharlietomygillespie @dolandolll @boujeeethan @softethan @risedols @evreths @everydaydolan

[panvani]

On cats. (Vincent and Alice meta)

Something went wrong when you were born. There was some kind of mistake, some earth-shattering cosmic screwup that resulted in your creation. Nothing can be done about it- that mistake is who you are, something inseparable from the core of your being. Humans must scorn you, or else be made to suffer. You know that. No one will let you forget it.

Supposedly, you’re surrounded by people like you. They find camaraderie in each other, share each other’s pain so no individual is given too much to bear. Supposedly, supposedly they’ve all been tossed aside, declared too sinful to be tolerated by humans, and supposedly that means you’re all family and you’re all friends. They don’t like you, though. You’re a step further.

Who’s there to care for you? Your sibling, in a sense, but also not- they know what you are and can’t ever really forgive you for it. They love you, in their way, and then also love the one who put you there, who tells you your life is forfeit and approaches you intending to one day have you killed. Nothing can be done about it. To go against him would doom you both.

There’s one person, though, just one person who seems to care for you. He’s not like the others- he’s from the outside, where he says he’ll take you someday, away from the family that scorns you. This person is gentle and warm to you in a way no human has ever been, says you’re pretty, says you’re kind, says he loves you. You love him religiously, of course, since it’d be a saint that could love something as hateful as you.

(chapter 103)

There’s someone just like you out there. You hate them.

The first bit of information we’re given about Alice and Vincent’s relationship is delivered in the most shocking way possible- Alice, fawned on by Jack and caught in the sort of innocent infatuation one would expect a young girl to have, is approached by Vincent. Immediately she identifies him as an enemy, talking of how she hates him for how he bullies her. Then he shows her her cat, presumably Alice’s only real friend, whose eyes he’s gouged out. (chapter 31)

It’s something I see PH fans talk about a lot, often with the perspective that it’s proof of how Vincent had always been evil. That’s understandable. The setup of a protagonist whose only companion is a cat, otherwise bullied an isolated, then having their cat be brutally murdered is common in Japanese media (think of Mob Psycho 100, Mahou Shoujo Site, and Misao as examples from different genres and mediums). It’s a very easy way to garner sympathy for a character and to demonstrate the degree of their helplessness. What Vincent had done seemed, when it was first shown, to be an act of needless cruelty.

What Vincent had done was wrong. In no way do I attempt to argue that there’s any justification for animal cruelty, especially to the degree that he had committed. The issue I take here is in how many refuse to take into account the full context of their relationship, one I think is extremely important to understanding both characters. Pandora Hearts is a series whose structure largely relies on going back over the same events from different perspectives, with new information- information that more often than not completely changes the meaning of the events previously shown- displayed each time.

(chapter 39)

Here’s the thing about children- they only know what’s been shown to them. A child that’s been violently abused will not understand the immorality of violence. A child that’s only been shown cruelty will not understand the problem with being cruel. Here’s Alice, told from birth she was dangerous, that she was to be held in isolation and abused, ostensibly for the greater good. Here’s Vincent, told the same thing. Here’s Gil, who wants to kill Alice now, because Vincent needs Gil, needs Gil to protect him from Alice who’s being cruel to him now, and if Gil can’t make Vincent need him, what point is there in Gil being alive?

She makes Gil wear that expression again because of me. It’s worth noting, Alice is gleeful to hear Gil was going to be murdered after Gil threatens and physically assaults her. Vincent was the only child in that scenario who seemed to have no interest in the death of another.

From the beginning of their relationship there’d been a mutual understanding between Alice and Vincent of each being, in some way, interchangeable with the other. It’s why Alice mocks Vincent to begin with- a defensive anger out of the perception that Vincent intended to steal Jack away when Jack was all Alice had. Vincent felt no anger towards Alice for the things she said to him, but Gil’s reaction to them- he recognized his anger at her as being, in a way, a product of Gil’s emotions towards Vincent. The thing about hating yourself is you start to hate anything that looks like you, too.

Alice and Vincent’s respective cruelties were that of children, meaning, ultimately, they were that of adults. Both had been abused and dehumanized by their family and then groomed by Jack, who encouraged conflict between them knowing it would drive them both further into helplessness and isolation. I have no intention of debating whether either deserved it (neither did) nor if one traumatized the other more thoroughly (does it even matter?). I am stating plainly: Alice and Vincent, who were abused children, both treated each other horribly, as they were abused children.

(Do not try to argue that Vincent should have found another outlet. He was an abused and dehumanized eight year old who fully believed his guardian intended to kill his brother. If Vincent had a healthy outlet, he would not have any conflict with Alice to begin with.)

There’s something very important to consider when discussing both Alice and Vincent’s abuse- the fundamental reason as to both why they connected with one another in the way they did and why they were abused in the first place. In fact, it’s the common factor in their connection to Jack, why he had been interested in them in the first place, as they would both eventually find out.

(chapter 72)

(chapter 103)

It’s Lacie. Their connection is Lacie. The reason for their abuse, the reason for their grooming, their reason for their subsequent empathy and hatred for one another is their shared connection to Lacie. Both, for their resemblance to her, were isolated and dehumanized in accordance to the circumstances of their birth. Remember, had that tower not been occupied by Alice, it would’ve gone to the next Child of Ill Omen. It should have been Vincent’s.

The other important piece of knowledge to understanding Alice’s hostility towards Vincent would not be revealed until long after their confrontation is first shown. It further cements that their aggression towards one another was from their shared connection to Lacie, a sort of self harm by proxy between two children with no other means of expressing themselves.

(chapter 71)

Alice knew.

She knew who her mother was, what had happened to her- someone told her, Core of Abyss or someone else. That Alice would know what happened to her mother and know the stigma surrounding the Child of Ill Omen but not understand what the two meant together is unlikely. Alice definitely understood the connotations of what she had said to Vincent- mocking him for being marginalized in a way that had caused him to suffer continuous, extreme abuse- and it’s likely she understood what those connotations meant in relation to herself.

If we assume she knew what happened to her mother- which she did- and assume she knew her mother being a Child of Ill Omen was the cause- which is likely- then her mockery of Vincent for being a Child of Ill Omen takes on a new meaning. Not only is it the recognition that she and Vincent were of the same cloth, similarly regarded as unwanted. It is the recognition that Vincent is the same as that which had birthed Alice to begin with. She implicitly blames him for her creation.

Vincent hates Alice. He hates Alice for hurting Gil. He hates Alice for upsetting Jack. He hates Alice for having caused the Tragedy of Sablier, for have created the circumstances which led to Jack’s death. In the second to last chapter, Vincent says he is sure that he and Alice are the same.

(Consider reading my meta on Vincent and Miranda.)

[peachiikawa]

Fly | Route Selected: S. Daichi

a/n: thank you all for being so patient with me. finally, here is the long awaited daichi route. hope you all enjoy!

genre: mafia au

warnings: blood, reader getting hurt, guns, violence

word count: 2.3k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose you”

Your eyes locked with daichi

And daichi stared into yours trying to figure you out

“Are you sure?”

You nodded your head and held your ground

“Im sure”

He felt his eyes soften for a moment at the determination in your eyes before hardening again

“Fine. Everyone else, go home. Youre with me then. Lets go”

Daichi called for a car and drove you home

The silence between the two of you was only filled with the soft sound of a piano playing on the radio

The ride was finally over after about twenty minutes

“I’ll come get you tomorrow morning. Youll be working as an intern now so dress accordingly”

With that he left and you felt like you could breathe again

Just what had you gotten yourself into?

As he said he was at your house in the morning in a car that looked just a tad too expensive

You gulped before taking your first step towards him

“Good morning, Daichi”

He just nodded at you as you got into the car

The drive was once again silent

You looked over at the man behind the wheel and noticed how...formal he looked

Suit, straight back, both hands on the wheel

You felt yourself naturally adjusting yourself to mirror his mannerisms

He stole some glances at you without you noticing and felt his eyes soften upon seeing how nervous you looked

As soon as you stepped into the building you could feel the professional atmosphere

The endless windows and white walls gave off a chilling feeling

You only came back to reality when Daichi gently nudged your back

“I dont have all day. Hurry up and move”

The harshness of his words were the opposite of his touch but they still hurt nonetheless

You nodded your head and kept walking, trying to keep up with his quick stride

You followed him into an office as he took a seat behind the wooden desk

“This will be brief so don’t feel the need to sit”

Your eyes followed his every move as he organized his desk that was already pretty organized with stacks of papers

Daichi went on about your duties here but you honestly werent listening

You were a bit overwhelmed from the unfamiliar building you were in that you forgot about the man in front of you

Up until your eyes landed on the nameplate that sat on his desk

Sawamura Daichi, CEO

Without even knowing it, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion

Just who did you get yourself involved with?

Daichi finally noticed that his conversation with you wasnt going anywhere

“Hey. Are you even listening to me?”

You snapped out of it and shook your head

“Im listening!”

He just sighed and repeated everything he just said again

“Whatever. Just listen because this will be the last time i say this. Youll be working here at Sawamura Inc from now on as an intern. Your fellow interns are Hinata and Kageyama so feel free to ask them questions if you have any. You can leave now. I’ll come get you at the end of the day”

You nodded your head and started your day

Kageyama helped you the most in learning the ropes, you didnt see much of hinata. it was almost as if he was avoiding you

“Ok...so these files go here?”

He nodded his head

“Yeah i think you got it down now. If you need me ill be organizing some things for suga”

The rest of the day went on slowly until finally seven oclock hit

You could hear the faint sound of footsteps approaching you

“Lets go”

Daichi wasted no time in leaving

You quickly put down the rest of the papers you needed to organize and followed him out

The next couple weeks were like clockwork

Almost exactly the same as the day before

And no matter how hard you tried to get to know the man who took you to and from work he wouldnt budge

The only thing you ever got out of him were short replies and head nods

Did he really not like you that much?

But something you noticed every morning and every evening was the light sound of a piano playing from the radio

“Do you like the piano daichi?”

You werent even sure youd get an answer out of him

But he must if he listened to it everyday

You saw his hands lightly grip the steering wheel tighter before loosening, a ghost of a smile appearing on his lips

Your eyes widened when you saw it

In your two weeks together...youd never seen him give a look like this

Like he...enjoyed life

Like he was happy

“Yeah...its okay”

But just as fast as it appeared on his face, it quickly disappeared

Who knew that the stoic man next to you could make expressions like that

Almost made your heart race

“Do you play?”

Silence fell upon the both of you before you heard him let out a sigh

“No”

And now we’re back to stage one when you finally though you were getting more than one word answers

What could you do to make him see you?

This question played in your head as you filed away some papers for Asahi with Hinata

It was the first time youd done something with him but from what youve seen kageyama just calls him an idiot all the time and hits him

Also from what youve heard hinatas been with the sawamuras for a while so maybe he has some insight

“Hey hinata, can i ask you a question?”

He kept quiet so you took that as permission

“Do you know why daichi likes listening to the piano so much?”

That caused him to stop

“If he hasnt told you then dont ask me”

Youd be lying if you said that didnt make you more intrigued so naturally you did some digging

And eventually you stumbled upon an article from no more than five years ago

It told the tale of a young piano prodigy that had chosen to study music at the university of music and performing arts in vienna

And that piano prodigy was the now the distant leader of the Karasuno Mafia

You wonder what happened to him, what the story was behind his change in career path

The next day you decided that if you wanted to learn more about him then asking the questions would help

“Good afternoon daichi!”

You smiled at him as you delivered some paperwork to him

“Morning…”

You set the small stack down on his desk in front of him

“These are the papers for the closing on the Inarizaki deal”

He picked them up and quickly skimmed it

“Okay, thank you. You may go now”

When you didnt move he looked back up

“Do you have something else for me?”

He saw the way you fidgeted with the tips of your fingers and his eyes softened for just a moment

“Would you like to have lunch with me?”

He knew that he should say no

That he shouldnt let you in

“Sure”

How harmful could one lunch possibly be

Little did daichi know he was about to be interrogated

“--no i dont know who my favorite superhero is”

This was probably the tenth question youve asked and he wished you would stop

But he didnt know how to tell you no

Not when you were asking genuine questions

He thought it was kind of nice to be talking to someone normal again

Not someone who was involved with the mafia

But someone who was just...ordinary

“Ok ok..one last question”

He smiled softly

You felt your breath hitch after him showing you that gentle smile

“Go ahead”

The way you talked to him with no filter was refreshing

So he wasnt expecting the next question really at all

“I came across an article the other day about this boy who loved playing the piano,”

Daichis heart almost stopped

“Why did you stop playing daichi?”

‘Because my father made me’

He clenched his fist, crumpling the napkin inside of it

“I just got bored of it”

His reply came out through gritted teeth and you knew he was lying

You gently laid your hand on top of his until you felt it relaxing under you

“Well, no matter the reason, I hope that someday ill be lucky enough to hear you play”

His heart melted

The thought of playing again is something hes always wanted

But his father wouldnt let him

And left a permanent reminder on him about it

“That probably wont ever happen so dont get your hopes up. Let’s get back to the office, lunch is over”

And just like that he was back to being cold towards you just when you thought you were making progress

A couple weeks go by and it seems like daichis pushed you out of his life all over again

So much so that suga was the one giving you assignments from daichi where daichi used to just tell you himself

“Hey, hinata, kageyama and y/n! Daichi wants you guys to go make some copies from the store around the corner. Printer is jammed here and we need to get those documents ASAP”

You all nodded your heads and headed out

You were really too caught up in your own thoughts to be thinking about your surroundings

Had you really crossed a line that day?

You just wanted to figure out the real daichi

Because to you, the real daichi had his walls up 24/7 but behind those walls was a gentle smile and just a guy who wanted nothing more than to just live a normal life

So you didnt notice when hinata and kageyama stopped causing you to run into their backs

“Why did you guys-”

Hinata held a protective arm out in front of you

“What are you doing here, mad dog?”

The boy you assumed was ‘mad dog’ pushed himself off of wall he was leaning against

“Boss wanted me to fetch something”

His eyes locked onto your form

“And im here to collect”

This sent chills down your back

What was he going to do for you?

Who was his boss?

Your mind was running a mile a minute

“y/n you need to run”

Hinata’s voice brought you back to reality

“What?”

Hinata’s eyes never left the man in front of him

“Kageyama and i will take care of him. You need to get back to the office. Now!”

You sprinted as soon as hinata yelled for you to leave

‘Theyll be alright, right? They handle stuff like this all the time’

But you came to an abrupt halt at the sound of a gun going off

‘Fuck my life’

You turned back around help in any way you could

Only to come upon an unconscious kageyama and bleeding hinata

“You fucking idiot! Whyd you come back?!”

Meanwhile mad dog approached you and placed his hand under your chin

“You just made my job a whole lot easier”

Before you could even scream a piece of cloth was placed over your mouth and your vision went black

“Give your boss a message for me, carrot top. Tell him that if he wants his intern back he has to come get them himself”

Hinata gritted his teeth before passing out himself

Suga found them not too long after that

And after hinata told daichi what had happened...he was livid

He was supposed to protect you

To make sure that you stayed safe

And he was too weak to do it

Too afraid of what his father would have done if he found out that he was fond of a random person they picked up from the streets that had no ties to them

Afraid of what his father would have done to you

He clenched his jaw and let out a grunt as he punched the wall next to him

But fuck that

He knew that in this moment he needed to get you back right now

The thought of you being injured due to his own incompetence scared him more than what his father might ever do to him

So he was off

“When will they wake up?”

“Theyve been out forever”

“Dude its only been like three hours of course theyre still out”

The voices around you became clear as you regained consciousness

“Oh~ looks like theyre finally awake”

“Yeah probably because you wouldnt shut up”

Standing in front of you was a group of men you had only seen in brief pictures from the reports you made for daichi

‘Seijoh’

From what you remember their boss is a major flirt and his right hand man keeps him humble

Mad dog was sitting off in the corner next to a brown haired man who just kept staring at you…’creepy’

You flinched as the one you recognized as their boss reached a hand out towards you

“Aww dont be scared! I promise i wont hurt you”

He bent down to your level with a hand on your shoulder and leaned in to the point that his breath tickled your ear

“Though im not too sure that some of the others here wont. So be good for me, okay y/n?”

You were scared out of your mind

But you were not going to let this guy get into your head

So you did what any reasonable person would do

You pulled your head back and headbutted him in the forehead

He stumbled back a bit

“Stay the fuck away from me”

Oikawa held his head and gave you a nasty glare

“Iwa take care of them”

Everyone filed out till it was just you and the spiky hair man in front of you

“Nothing against you, just doing what the boss said. Plus you could have just laid low but you had to provoke him”

Daichi wasted no time in getting to seijohs building

And as soon as oikawa heard he was in the building he sent for him

“Welcome daichi! What an unexpected surprise!”

Daichi always hated the sound of oikawas jovial voice

How fake it sounded

“Just give me y/n back”

Oikawa just shook his head 

“Never were a fan of small talk were you daichi? Okay, since youre just dying to see them ill bring them in now”

Daichi turned around and reeled at what he saw

Bruised and battered as you were set down onto the ground

“You fucking bastard”

Daichi clenched his jaw

He was at a loss of words for the sight in front of him

But he knew he had to get you out of here

So he scooped you up into his arms and headed for the door

But before leaving he stopped and spoke into his earpiece

“Get them”

And with that he left as a war ensued between the two gangs

Beep beep

The sound of your heart monitor brought you back to the land of the living

And next to you was a passed out daichi

You slowly felt around your bed before hitting the call button for your nurse

And as soon as you did daichi jumped up from his seat at the sound of footsteps approaching

You reached out and put your hand on his to get his attention and smiled at him

He sat back down and let the nurses tend to you, his gaze never leaving your body

“You should be able to leave within the next day or two. Rest up mx. l/n”

The nurse then left your room and left the two of you alone

You locked eyes with him before looking down at his hand and seeing how discolored it was

He noticed your eyes widen and tried to hide his hand once he realized what you were looking at

“Daichi! You need to take better care of yourself!”

You sat up from your bed and called a nurse to get a basic first aid kit

“Im fine y/n. You need to rest”

“Like hell youre fine! Daichi your hand is hurt. Please just let me fix it for you”

But before you could apply the bandages you hand your hand in his

“It cant be fixed y/n. This hand doesnt feel anything”

You looked up at him with confused eyes

“Its the reason i dont play anymore. My father crushed it a few years back so i wouldnt even think about playing. Said it was time i stopped playing with useless things”

The grip on your hand tightened a bit before slowly loosening

But you just gently squeezed it

“Well, even if your hand is ‘useless’ id still feel better if youd let me wrap it. Your hand is still a part of you and it can still bring so much joy into your life as well as those around you. You just have to have the courage to seize what you want.”

‘The courage to seize what I want’

Your words played out in his head over and over again

He made a promise to himself that day

That one day, you two would be happily together

No matter how hard this path may be

He was going to seize his happiness

Tag List:

@the-ironic-me​ @multisun​ @my-mass-hysteria​ @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy​ @celamoon​ @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs​ @tsukifanbase​ @69owo​ @laglyssage​ @hearteyeskags​ @ntngann​ @shnnn​ @fukuro-dani-ace​

[carminecalico]

Eren x Armin “Fuck Away The Pain Chapter 6 “It’s Comforting When You Do It"

Eren showcases another instrument under his belt, enjoying his newfound friends before a betrayal is revealed by the person you'd least expect.

*also quick note.

My story is also on Ao3 the link is below I would love it if y’all showed it some love on there too

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28809192?view_full_work=true

Armin woke but kept his eyes closed in hopes of going back to sleep. He patted the spot Eren should be in to find it empty. He sat up sleepily as he looked around for his boyfriend before seeing a note on the bed.

"Morning sunshine, don't worry I'm still here. I'm just making coffee and breakfast. I didn't know if you'd have a hangover so I brought you Advil and water. They're on your nightstand."

Armin smiled placing the note in his nightstand before getting up and slowly made his way to the dresser. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and Eren’s hoodie that he "borrowed" earlier this week before walking into the kitchen with soft music playing. Armin walked up behind an unaware Eren wrapping his arms around his waist. "Morning Eren...." He mumbled leaning into the dark haired one's back.

"Morning surshine." Eren smiled as he finished making Armin‘s coffee. "Coffee?" blue asked to which Armin nodded and stepped back. Eren turned to face Armin, handing him his coffee, "Cream and sugar’s already in babe."

"You know how I make my coffee?" Armin took a small sip, his eyes widened in shock as it was perfect. "How?"

"I've watched you make your coffee for a like a week now. And whenever we go to Scout’s Coffee you get the caramel iced with 2 creams 3 sugars." Eren winked smiling. "Mayb e I'm better at this than I expected, huh?" He wrapped an arm around Armin‘s neck, leaned his head down and kissed the spot between his eyebrows gently.

"I've been saying that since day one, moron."

"Moron?"

"You’d think you would've gotten smarter after those private lessons." Armin smirked from behind his cup and looked up to see Eren with his eyebrow raised with a less than happy look on his face.

“You really wanna piss off the guy making you breakfast?"

"You really wanna try me on this?" Armin smiled as Eren chuckled as he leaned down, and pressed their lips together. The blonde sighed into the kiss before pulling away. "Let me make breakfast, you did make the coffee after all." Eren went to protest but was stopped by Armin pressing a finger against his lips. “Let me, please." He smiled as he grabbed the blonde's hand, pulling it away enough he could bend his head down pressing a kiss into Armin‘s palm.

"Sure Blondie." Eren pressed another kiss to the blonde's palm before stepping back leaning on the island in the kitchen. He reached over and turned the speaker up, now that he didn't have to worry about waking his boyfriend. "You ever listen to Against the Current?" Eren asked scrolling through his music. Armin shook his head no without looking up. "Okay, guess we're listening to her." He put his Against the Current playlist on before sipping his coffee. Eren hops on the counter near Armin and air drums the song playing as he hums along.

Armin watches briefly before turning back to the omelette he was making. "Hey babe? How many instruments can you play?" He plates the first omlette, and hands it to Eren pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'm just curious 'cause you almost always pretend there's either a drumset or a piano in front of you. I already know you can play guitar, obviously."

"Uhmm.... I think I'm at 6? Let's see there's the guitar, violin, piano, drums, bass, and I taught myself the harp for fun." Eren chuckles nervously scratching the back of his head. "I guess that sounds kind of nerdy."

"Not at all. Music's your passion it makes sense, but I've never heard someone play the harp. I bet you're really good, it looks like you need really skilled fingers." Armin states plainly working on his omlette smirking to himself.

"Most instruments need- wait...." While it took Eren a minute to figure it out, his face went red at Armin‘s boldness. "Shit Blondie you can't just-" Eren looked to his boyfriend seeing the smirk on his face as he plated his omelette. "You little brat."

Armin gasped, "Me? A brat? Never." He teased as he carried his breakfast and coffee to the table. Eren joined him setting his omelette on the table and scooted his chair closer to Armin. He gently grabbed Armin‘s hand pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "What's that for?" the blonde asked, a faint red spreading across his cheeks.

"A thank you for breakfast. I'll bring you to one of the music stores I regular at one day, they have a harp and they let me play it all the time." Eren said smiling at Armin who nodded before they both started eating.

"ARMIN! Please be decent!" Mikasa called from outside the door before opening it and sighing in relief. "Oh thank god."

"What if I wasn't Mikasa? What if I getting railed on the table? What then?" Armin smiled as Eren doubled over in laughter. Mikasa freezes in the door as Sasha leans on the door laughing with tears in her eyes. "Oh hey Sasha." Sasha gives a quick wave before wrapping her arms around Mikasa’s shoulders.

"Okay in all honesty Mika, you should've expected that." Sasha rested her head on Mikasa’s shoulder smiling up at her.

"Fair point."

"Guys have you ever heard someone play the harp?" Armin asked as the girls sat at the table with them, to which they both shook their heads no. "Eren, can they come? He was gonna play the harp for me at a music store someday."

"Why not today? We’re all here." Eren suggested as he and Armin finished their food. He looked over at the blonde next to him and noticed something odd. "Armin is that my hoodie?" Eren asked confused as to how he didn't notice.

"I have been wearing it all morning. How did you only just now realize this?" Armin asked in disbelief. Eren shrugged and grabbed the dishes and silverware bringing them to the sink. "Anyway, are you two down to go today?" Armin asked turning to face Mikasa and Sasha. Sasha nodded while Mikasa scanned Armin‘s chest seeing at least three hickies and two dark bite marks on his skin.

“Jesus Eren! Show some restraint!" Mikasa said concerned pointing at the marks as " Eren turns to them from the sink confused. "There has to be five marks on him."

"Ten actually but who's counting." Armin mumbles finishing his coffee turning to see Sasha and Mikasa with wide eyes. "What? There's some on my legs, I'd show you but I don't have any boxers on." Armin walked over to Eren, to put his mug in the sink, causing Sasha to notice the claw marks covering Eren’s back. She just shook her head before bringing Mikasa in for a soft kiss making them both smile.

Eren wrapped his arms around Armin after he finished the dishes. The blonde snuggled into his chest. "Mikasa's mad at me for the hickies isn't she?" Armin laughed as he nodded and Eren pressed his lips to his boyfriend's head. "Does she know you left more on me?" The blonde shook his head no with a smirk. "I'm not allowed to tell her am I?" He shook his head again and Eren signed running a hand through his hair. "Fucking brat." The brunette grabbed the back of Armin‘s head and pressed their lips together roughly. Armin moaned softly into the kiss, sending a shiver down Erens back.

The four decide to watch a movie before getting ready, Armin and Mikasa sit on the couch leaned into opposite corners, talking about their night. Sasha and Eren were in the kitchen getting drinks and snacks while chatting. She leaned on the island gazing at Mikasa with a smile. "Two years I couldn't say anything. And thanks to you, she's mine now."

Eren smiled at Sasha leaning on the counter next to her. "I like Mikasa, she hooked up the warriors with food, even when her boss yelled at her. Plus she always looked like she was enjoying our performances since day one, before we had any real traction." Eren grabbed a piece of popcorn before tossing it in his mouth. "C'mon they're waiting for us.” He said as he picked up two glasses and the popcorn bowl, leaving the soda and two other glasses for Sasha to grab. Eren walked to the couch setting the glasses and bowl on the coffee table as Sasha brought everything else. Eren laid on the couch cuddling into Armin‘s chest, smiling as the blonde wraps his arms around his waist. Sasha sat on Mikasa’s lap wrapping her arms around the black haired girl's neck. Mikasa pressed a kiss to Sasha's head and the four of them bunkered down to water the movie.

~~~~

Levi sighed as he grabbed a new essay from the stack and pulled up the students grading portal up. It was Saturday so there were no kids at the school so he came in a pair of jeans and a dark sweater. He looked over to find he finished his tea and decided it was a good time to stretch his legs. Levi grabbed his teacup before making his way to the nearby break room and put his teacup on table. He backed up to grab a tea bag but crashed into large, muscular chest. Two large arms caught him at the waist before he fell, "Woah, easy there. You okay?" Levi looked up to find two blue eyes staring down at him. He felt his heart leap into his throat so he nodded, not trusting his voice. The stranger helped him stand and smiled gently. “My apologies I should've been more careful. I'm Erwin I teach War Studies."

Levi took a step back before looking up to meet his gaze. "Levi. I teach classical literature. Uh thank you for catching me." Erwin tilted his head smiling causing Levi to turn his head away. "Let me make you some tea in thanks." He turned and quickly started making the tea grabbing his spare teacup from the cabinet. Erwin sat at the table quietly observing Levi. Levi carries the two cups over placing one in front of Erwin and sat down at the table with Erwin. "I've never seen you here before. It's a random time to get a new teacher."

Erwin hummed, “Well the man teaching this before me fell ill, so my employment got pulled forward. My question is why are you here on a Saturday?" He asked as he took a small sip of tea.

"I don't like bringing my work home, so I come here to do my grading." Levi looks up from the table to see Erwin looking at him with a relaxed smile. He gave the blonde a small smile in return. 'He's got a solid foot on me in height, built like a damn Greek God, and his eyes.... I could stare into them forever.'

"Can I take you to dinner tonight?” Erwin inquired tilting his head. "I know that's a little out of the blue but I think I'd much enjoy your company."

"Yes. I think I'd enjoy that as well."

~~~~

Eren lead the group to his favorite store, "In here guys." He opened the door, holding it open for them. Armin smiled at Eren, placing a hand on his chest before going on his toes to kiss the dark haired boy's cheek and went into the store. Eren smiled walking in after Armin and waved at the man at the counter . "Hey Rocco!"

"Eren! My man!" Eren walked over dapping up the large tattooed man. "It's been ages since you've been in, you finally ready for your tattoo?" Eren shook his head laughing lightly. "Whatcha doing here then?”

"You still got that harp? I kinda promised my boyfriend I'd play it for him." Rocco stares at him with wide eyes. "Why is everyone always surprised? This is starting to hurt my feelings." He looked over to Armin holding his arm out, to which the blonde walked over to cuddle into Eren. "Do you have the harp or not?"

“Sorry man, I just never pegged you as a commitment guy. Happy for you, but yea it's still in tester room 4."

"Thanks, I'll make sure I come visit more often." Eren leads Armin and the girls to the room and once again holds the door for them. Mikasa and Sasha sat on the far part of the bench as Eren settled behind the harp, stretching his arms a bit. Armin sat on the nearest part of the bench and just watched Eren as he plucked a few strings mindlessly. He started playing ‘Young and Beautiful’ by Lana Del Ray perfectly his eyes fluttering shut, like he could play this in his sleep. Mikasa cuddled into Sasha, which got her a kiss on her head, as they listened. Armin watched Eren play his eyes focusing on the intricate movements of his hands. He started getting a sense that music was like second nature to Eren, like he was just born with music in his blood. He couldn't imagine ever getting tired listening to him play, let alone watching. Armin started noticing anytime he was playing, or even just practicing, he always looked in his element, his anxieties were just non-existent.

He ended up playing quite a few songs; Creep by Radiohead, Sweater Weather by The NBHD, and Perfect by Ed Sheeran, to name a few. The group eventually walks over to the convenience store nearby to get drinks and walk over to the park. They all sit at a large tree, Eren holding Armin who's sat between his legs his back to his chest. While Mikasa just rests her head on Sasha's shoulder. Armin listens to Eren bond with Sasha over some obscure band he's never heard of, but it makes him smile that he gets along with his friends. His face scrunches in confusion as his phone starts ringing. Armin pulls his phone out of his pocket and holds it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Armin? It's Marco, I know you probably don't wanna talk to me but I have to talk to you. It's driving me crazy, are you free?"

"I'm out with Mikasa, Sasha and Eren right now. Maybe later?"

"It’s important. I don't care if Eren’s with you, I just don't want to admit to this in front of Mika or Sasha yet."

"Fine, meet me at my place I'll text you the address." Armin hangs up quickly rolling his eye s. "Mikasa, Sash, Eren and I gotta go but we'll see you later yea?"They nod in response waving bye as Armin leads Eren to the car. He explains everything to the dark haired boy driving while pouting in the passenger seat. "This sucks I don't wanna talk to Jean's new boyfriend. Like yea we were friends before but it's just awkward now." Eren frowns hearing the hurt in his boyfriend's voice and reaches over to grab Armin‘s hand. The blonde pulls his hand away before turning his body to face the window. "Sorry Eren, I just don't wanna be touched right now."

Eren nods and parks the car. "I'm really bad at comforting so just tell me how I can help okay, sunshine?" Armin nods before getting out of the car and stormed up to his apartment. Eren sighed resting his forehead on the steering momentarily before looking over seeing Armin left his phone. He grabbed it as he got out and quickly made his way up to the apartment. “Baby? You left your phone in the car... Where are ya?”

"In here." Armin called from his room before pulling the pillow closer and buries his face in the fluff. Eren walked in to his room sitting on the bed, not even an arms length from him. "Can we just stay in bed after this?" He lifted his head and looked over at Eren, who nodded at him smiling. He sat up pulling his knees to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. "Can you play with my hair? It's really comforting when you do it." Armin pulled his hair out of the bun it was in as Eren scooted next to him. The dark haired one guided the blonde so his head rested in his lap and started running his hand through the blonde locks, occasionally twirling some around his fingers. Armin‘s eyes fluttered shut before he nuzzled his face into Eren’s stomach letting out a small hum. The two stay like that, Eren keeping his other hand at his side not to push Armin‘s boundaries, until the doorbell rings signaling Marco's arrival.

Armin groaned before getting up unceromoniously, and walked over to the door opening it for Marco silently. Eren wrapped an arm around Armin‘s shoulders catiously, relaxing when the blonde leaned into him. The couple sat on the couch as Marco sat on one of the chairs. "Look Jean said he was gonna tell you but he keeps chickening out and I'm really sorry Armin." Marco looked down at the ground, his face was scrunched up in pain. "You know how you came to us when we started college about you and Jean were constantly fighting, you couldn't figure out why?" Armin rolled his eyes before nodding.

"Marco I really don't have the patience for you to beat around the bush like this. Just say your piece."

"It was because of me. October 19th is our anniversary..." Marco said suddenly as his eyes tear up. Armin stares at Marco blankly his mouth hanging open in disbelief. "I know it was wrong I just couldn't help it, I started falling for him over the summer and I guess he felt the same.... He kept saying he was gonna tell you and end things but stuff kept coming up for you, so he didn't want to add stress to you." Marco looked up at Armin tearfully. "I am so sorry Armin. If I-"

"Get out." Armin spoke in a cold ruthless tone, that actually terrified Eren, glaring at the freckled boy with a harsh glare. Marco began to protest but Armin grabbed one of the glasses from earlier and threw it at Marco. The glass hit the wall behind Marco shattering into pieces as Armin rose from the couch. "Get out! And don't you dare tell anyone! I refuse to be made a fool by you two ever again! Don't even think of telling Jean, we will act like nothing has changed, but you'll get your karma in time. Now, get out." Marco ran out the door as fast as he could, tripping over his own feet in his haste. Armin fell to his knees and looked down at the ground as his breathing got shallow and uneven.

Eren got off the couch is reeling next to Armin on one knee reaching a hand towards him carefully. Armin turned to Eren with tears in his eyes before throwing his arms around his neck and held him tightly. Eren wraps his arms around the blonde‘s shoulders, feeling the shake from the silent crying from Armin. "I'm here Armin, I'm here." He pressed gentle kisses to Armin‘s head as he brought a hand to the blonde locks, twirling sections of it around his fingers. Eren held him as close as he could doing his best to keep his anger at bay. Since day one Eren wanted to beat that guy's head in, but he knew Armin needed him right now.

He couldn't imagine how pained his ball of sunshine was hearing that, I mean almost half his relationship was a lie. No matter how over it you are, finding out someone you loved betrayed you? How do you trust after that? All these thoughts and questions ran through Eren's mind on a loop, causing him to lose track of time. He shakes his head as if that got rid of the thoughts and hears quiet snores. "Blondie must've cried himself to sleep." He shifted Armin gently making it easier to pick him up bridal style before carrying his blonde to bed. Gently, Eren set him down and covered him to his chest with the blanket, before leaning down and pressing his lips against Armin‘s forehead. He walked out of Armin‘s room at the same time Mikasa got home, with no Sasha. "Sasha go home?"

"Got called into work, where's Armin?" She asked walking into the kitchen to get a snack before having to get ready for work.

"Sleeping. Avoid the living room, there's broken glass on the floor. You got a broom or something I can clean it up with?" Eren asked leaning on the door frame. Mikasa pointed to the closet before it registered.

"Wait. Why is there broken glass on the floor?"

"Ask Armin when he wakes up. I don't know who he's okay telling." He said plainly as he walked to the closet grabbing the broom and dust pan. "It's not that I doubt he'll tell you, it's just not my place to talk about it." Eren walks over and starts sweeping the shards of glass into the dustpan. He kneels down to pick up the bigger pieces and accidentally cuts his palm open. "Shit." He quickly cleaned the rest of the glass up and emptied the dustpan into the trash, "Hey Mika? Can you help with this?" He held his hand out to her and she nodded grabbing their first aid kit.

She pointed to one of the stools at the counter. "Sit." Eren nodded sitting on the stool before Mikasa took his hand running a wipe over the cut.

"Ow! Shit that stings!"

"Lower your voice, you'll wake Armin." She said calmly as she cleaned the cut while Eren winced. "Don't be such a baby. It's not that bad." Eren glared at her as she wrapped the injured hand in gauze. "In a few hours you should be able to replace the gauze with a regular bandaid."

"Thanks, Mika." Eren groaned as he laid on the counter. "Do you still like Jean? I know you were all friends in high school and everything."

"I'm neutral? Guess that's the best way to describe it. Sasha's still friends with him so I have to be civil, but honestly I couldn't really care less." She said putting away the kit. "I have to get ready for work, if he's feeling up to it I'll get you guys a drink or two on the house. Just drop by okay?" Eren nodded and she retreated to her room.

Eren grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with water before going to Armin. He set the cup on the nightstand and brushed some stray hairs out of the blonde’s face. Eren sat by Armin on the bed moving some pillows so he could rest his back against the headboard. The blonde groaned as the bed moved under Eren and his eyes slowly fluttered open. “Eren?”

"I'm here sunshine." Armin turned to face Eren before grabbing his wrist pulling his hand to his hair. "Okay baby. C'mere." Eren moved Armin so his head rested in his lap before running his hands through the blonde hair gently. "Anything I can do just tell me." The blonde nodded as a comfortable silence fell over them.

"Distract me." Armin said after roughly five minutes passed. Eren raised his eyebrow in confusion as Armin sat up and quickly straddled his lap. "Please.... I don't wanna think right now..." The blonde wrapped his arms around the other's neck giving him a pleading look. The brunette’s eyes widened in realization before grabbing his boyfriends waist and nodding. Armin leaned down capturing Erens lips in a rough kiss pulling their bodies as close as possible.

‘Anything for you sunshine.'

[johannstutt413]

TOURNAMENT ARC 2: PHANTOM VS PROJEKT RED

“Alright, let’s see...Looks like we’ve got a fight tomorrow, Jessie!” The Doctor unfurled a piece of paper from the machine. “First round for Specialists, it looks like; Phantom vs Red. It’s been awhile since Phantom stopped by the office, hasn’t it?”

“...Phantom?” The Feline shrugged; she’d seen records of that Operator before, but never actually encountered them herself.

He sighed. “Right, stealth specialist with mnemonic Arts. Regardless, it’ll be interesting to see what happens, especially since Red- actually, I haven’t seen her recently either. She hasn’t been on a mission, has she?”

“I don’t think so?” Jessica flipped open a tab and scrolled through some of her notes. “No, but she has been on leave for awhile.”

“Really? What kind of leave was it, again? I think you approved that one.”

At that exact moment, Projekt Red walked into the office with a baby in her arms. “Maternity leave.” [not exactly the same universe but hush it’s fine]

“Awww!” The two immediately approached. “What’s their name?”

“Scarlet SilverAsh. I don’t think I can be in the tournament for a while, Doctor; we haven’t moved her to formula yet.” Scarlet fussed a little, which the Lupo solved by licking her forehead.

The Doctor nodded. “That’s alright, Red; I think I know the person to take your spot. Let us know when you’re ready to fight and we’ll put you in the rotation.”

“Thank you, Doctor. I’ll be watching today’s match from home. You can both come over, if you want; Encio’s making burgers.” She watched both of them blink several times. “What?” 

“He can cook?” Jessica asked.

She nodded. “There’s nothing he can’t do. I need to feed her soon. Let us know if you want to come over.”

“Will do!” Once she’d left, the Feline smiled to herself. “I’m looking forward to that someday.”

“Having a kid with me?”

Jessie set her head on his shoulder. “Yeah...We should call Waai Fu now, before too much press goes out.”

“Good plan.”

TOURNAMENT ARC 2: PHANTOM VS PROJEKT RED WAAI FU

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, Operators, Staff, and Esteemed Guests! Welcome one and all to the Top Operator Tourney!!! *crowd cheers*

“Thanks, Hung! Hiiiii everyone! It’s your lovable idol and Penguin Logistics delivery girl Sora here, filling in for Click on account of some rather inflammatory commentary she gave during the last one. Joining me in the booth, filling in for FEater after she punched the person who told them that, is Croissant!”

“That’s right, Sora, and I ain’t goin’ any’re! Now earlya Baws ‘nounced we had a lil’ bituva skejul shift, but looks like we still ‘ave a real good’un on our ‘ands. On the north side, wi’ 14 years of fightin’ ‘sperience, she’s student by day and brawla’ by nite, WAAAAAAAI FUUUUUUUU!” *cheers* “Ye, dat’s wut I wanna hear! Annnnd on the south side- hey, where’d they go?” *confused crowd noises* “Uh...Now I ain’t gonna lie, I never did meet dis Phantom guy? We sure he works ‘ere?”

“I mean, Medical had enough data to evaluate with, so I guess he does? Aaaanyway, looking at the numbers, it looks like Waai Fu has more combat experience and raw strength, but Phantom’s faster and trickier to deal with, so hopefully he shows up long enough for us to watch him work!”

“Ye, let’s ‘ope so! Baws itn’t at the podium today, but Amiya’s down there doin’ the hands, so let’s ‘ear it! 3! 2! 1! LET’S RUUUUUUUUUUUMBLLLLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!”

--------

Down on the ground, as the commentators blathered away, psyching the crowd up, Phantom watched his target from the shadows, blades ready but simply observing. His opponent, an orange Feline he’d never seen before, likewise watched, patient. This wasn’t his usual style...but if it was a show they wanted, then he’d give them a show.

“So you are my opponent.” He took a step forward. “Shall we dance our dance for the masses?”

“The Phantom, in the flesh...I expected to face you later in the bracket, but this works, too.”

His eyes narrowed. “You recognize me?”

“I’ve spent my life clearing the street of scum like you, who skulk in the shadows and take others’ lives for your sick games.” She took a defensive stance. “Your ring of thieves deserved its fate-”

“Do not speak ill of the dead, lest you join them sooner than you expect.” A step backward, and he’d vanished.

Two Phantoms emerged from her shadow, blades drawn to strike as they flanked her, only to find she was ready for both attacks; Waai Fu evaded their swords as knocked both Phantom and his mirror image to the ground. “Repent while you still have time.”

And then everything was a blur.

-------

“It’s like it started out of nowhere! They stared each other down forever, and then BAM! Also, why are there two of him?!”

“I ‘unno, darlin’, but I ‘ope Junior ain’t watch’n this! They’re go’n at it ‘arder ‘n an’thin rite now! I can’t even count ‘ow many blows they’re tradin’, but not a single drop of blood on the ground yet!”

“You can tell Waai Fu’s struggling, though - two on one isn’t a fair fight for anyone, but she’s holding her ground someh- OH, what?!”

“Oh! Oh! That’s the Seven-Styles Kick!! ‘Oly shit, I ain’t ever seen it in person bef’r, but damn that was some’n! And one of ‘em’s gone now!”

“Things have slowed down, and she is absolutely whaling into him! Punch, punch, kick, kick; he’s doing his best to evade them, but I don’t think he can keep up like this for long! Especially since he can’t- never mind, he managed to slash her once, at least, but that just left him open for a solid haymaker! He’s not getting back u/p! 1! 2!! 3!!! SHE’S DONE IT!!!”

“Wowza...Not as bloody as last ‘un, ey darlin’?”

“Waai Fu’s getting medical attention, as is Phantom from the looks...Hey, wait a minute, honey, did you see that?”

“See what?”

--------

Aak was there at Waai Fu’s side, local anesthetic applied and staple gun going to work. “A bit of medi-gel will get this patched up in no time...Hey, who was that guy, anyway? Never seen him around before.”

“The Phantom Behind the Curtain, Treasurer of the Night. He was the leading man for a theatre troupe known for less-than-savory wetwork who traveled the world as a closely-knit ring of assassins, although many didn’t realize their actual business until the day it collapsed.” The Feline sighed. “That one killed a crowded theatre with his voice alone. He didn’t want me dead, not enough to speak to me with his true voice.”

“Truer words, vigilante, have yet to be spoken” a spectral figure whispered in her ear, disappearing before she could identify them.

The other Feline next to her cocked her head. “See something? Mighta gotten some hallucinogens in the anesthetic again.”

“No, it’s...nothing.” She shook her head. “It’ll pass, whatever it was.”

“You’d best win the tournament now, child...For your father’s sake.” From the other ear this time, as if standing in Aak’s place.

On the ground, as Warfarin ensured Gaspard began his recovery, a black cat stepped out of the shadows and, once the Sarkaz was done with the greater part of patching him up, sat on his chest, gently pawing at his face. A slight smile came to his face as he and his Christine were taken to Medical for full evaluation; he might have been defeated in this battle, but the war for himself was far from lost.

[sailorshadzter]

IM ALIIIIIVEEEEE

no but really

im still here, sort of. its been a minute! but im happy to be back & dropping some new jonsa for you all to (hopefully) enjoy. i actually have another piece ive been working on, but for now this is all ive managed to complete lol 

ANYWAYS HELLO EVERYONE. ive missed tumblr & the jonsa fam, so im hoping ill be back to posting a bit more regularly again. <3

When the door opens, he knows it's her.

She comes across the threshold, allowing the door to fall closed behind her, leaving them alone within the rooms that once belonged to Robb. Rooms neither of them have stepped foot in for many years. "Jon." The whisper of his name falls from her lips and Jon feels his heart twist in his chest. Just the sound of his name is enough to undo him. He's settled into the chair that sits before the fire, his bloodied clothes discarded, exchanged for clean ones brought to him by a maid he recalls from childhood. Sansa approaches where he sits, sinking down to his level, a heap of black skirts against the rushes. "Your hand..."

She brushes her fingertips across his bruised, broken knuckles, breath catching in her throat as she closes her eyes. "Sansa..." Lashes flutter and it's a moment later that his other hand has fallen into place against the length of her jaw, tilting her head so her blue eyes meet his. "I don't regret it," he says softly, the smallest of smiles tugging at his lips. Her laughter comes as something between a sob and a chuckle, but a wane smile remains, her hand sliding into place over his. "None of it."

"I know," she whispers, leaning into his touch, sinking beneath the warmth of his skin against her own. "Thank you." Jon blinks, as if he's surprised, but his features soften as she closes the gap between them, her body both warm and comforting as he envelops her into his embrace. The weight of her body as she sinks onto his lap is everything he's ever wished for and when she curls into him, head tucking into the curve of his shoulder, Jon can't help but to close his eyes, knowing there was no redeeming him from his sinful thoughts. "We'll be together... Always, won't we?" Her voice is a whisper, a thread in the falling darkness. Jon swallows and leans in so he might brush the softest of kisses against the crown of her head.

"I'll stay at your side always," he answers softly, honestly. Not even the Gods themselves could take him from her now. For her he's gone to war and would gladly go again, if it meant keeping her safe. For her there was nothing he would not do. "Or for as long as you like, that is," he amends, knowing someday there would surely come a time when she no longer needed him. When it would not be him who she crawled into bed beside after a particularly awful nightmare. There would come a time where it would not be his hand she reaches for first, nor his eyes she looks for across a crowded room. But, selfish as it might have been to think, he hopes it stays that way a while more.

Her weight shifts as she pulls away, just so she might look at him head on. Her eyes are wide, as if she doesn't understand the words he's only just said. "Forever," she whispers and Jon closes his eyes against the rising tide of emotions within him. "I want you beside me forever, Jon." And then she's sinking into him once again, fitting into place against him as if she were made to fit there.

"Forever." He parrots back, soft and slow, before he buries his face into the top of her head, breathing her in. She is the only thing that's real to him, the one single thing that has kept him going since the day he came back to life. "Forever."

It was a promise.

[beeblackburn]

Ghosts for the fandom ask as well! 👀

The first character I ever fell in love with: Thomas Thorne. “Ah, she’s gone” remains one hell of a delightful line delivery. And his following melodrama was just amazing to sit through. I love dramatic™ bitches.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: I... honestly don’t know? Like, I generally like every character in this series and that’s not particularly a small feat. I suppose if I had to choose... the Captain or Mike, and only because I’ve come to realize their later more self-centered/forcible moments were there from the get-go, from the Captain’s complaining about Fanny’s screaming and Mike taking out a loan without talking about it with Alison while she was in a coma, not necessarily because I dislike them.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: Ummm, none! I generally agree with the ships in this series. 

My ultimate favorite character™: Thomas Thorne, he usually guarantees a laugh with any line reading, he looks good, he usually holds back before his crush on Alison gets too creepy, The Thomas Thorne Affair and Free Pass helps explain his more romantic tendencies and the former genuinely floored me with some of its twists and that last revelation broke my damn heart. Poor Isabelle and Thomas. They lost so much because the first Lord Button was a selfish arse. And I adore that Thomas was the first one who sung along In the Bleak Midwinter with Alison. I hope all the best for him.

Prettiest character: Kitty or Thomas. Kitty’s more my type, and I love her dress, but Thomas has those floofy locks to die for.

My most hated character: FUCK LORD BUTTON THE FIRST WITH A MUSKET BALL. That being said, I don’t come out of the Christmas Special respecting Mike’s sisters. And, depending on how Kitty’s backstory goes, her sister’s set to replace Lord Button the First. Honestly, I feel like I come out of this series hating cousins and sisters.

My OTP: Mike/Alison. Aside from some hiccups, Mike’s genuinely supportive and follows Alison’s lead and Alison grounds Mike’s eccentrics or flights of fear. They’re not friction-less, but they feel lived-in, have little jokes with each other, and are a couple who love each other and work through their problems.

My NOTP: Yeah, still none.

Favorite episode: Man, there’s a spoil of riches in Season 2 alone, but I keep revisiting Happy Death Day, Getting Out, About Last Night, Redding Weddy, The Thomas Thorne Affair, and Bump in the Night. If I had to narrow it down... The Thomas Thorne Affair, Bump in the Night or The Ghost of Christmas all vie for favorite.

The Thomas Thorne Affair is the best flashback episode Ghosts got, given it’s got a ton of narrative room to breathe around the death in question (I love Redding Weddy, but I wanted more scenes between the Captain and Lieutenant Havers), allowing for multiple perspectives to see the death, and I love how many holes get plugged up by POVs like Kitty’s or get misdirected off-track like Robin’s or get made into a more interesting imaginary scenario like the Captain’s (real talk, his take never fails to make me laugh, bless you, Captain). It’s all hilarious (that bird getting shot by Thomas’ gun as he falls is my second-guiltiest laugh of the series) but it also speaks to a very real idea of our memories: that we edit, we revise, we look back with nostalgia or clean up the messier bits. Add in the twists and the Mike subplot and it all adds up to a tragic tale whose theme is about how another man’s utter selfishness is capable of destroying a relationship between two lovers through violence, either directly or by proxy. It’s delightfully hilarious, but it hits so hard and Thomas’ words about the truth making it all worse twists my heart.

I feel Bump in the Night is the funniest episode Ghosts’ got. It’s not particularly serious, there are no real stakes, given one of the burglars is terrible at theft, it’s just a bunch of total morons fumbling through a breaking-and-entering and it’s amazing. Fanny complaining that the burglars are terrible at theft, the Ghosts calling for 999, only to not think through how to communicate, them trying to communicate with Mike via a creepy doll’s eyelids, Alison immediately realizing Mike’s in the wardrobe, Julian writing “2 of them” instead of 2 like a non-dumbass, MIKE IN THE SUIT OF ARMOR, it’s all amazingly funny, but at the same time, it’s all underlined by the emotional truth that Alison, Mike, and the Ghosts have come far enough that the Ghosts are willing to help them out because they like them, instead of scaring them off or causing problems like in Season 1. Alison verbalizes it, but the more touching scene is how she thanks Robin, the Ghost that first scared her because he had nothing better to do, for getting Barclay to help them and he just nods humbly back. This episode is full of idiots, but it’s got a decent amount of heart in it that gives it weight beyond the laughs.

The Ghost of Christmas probably has one of my favorite theses on why we endure the holidays with our families, despite it never being as magical as can be. There’s stuff to nitpick like how I don’t like how Mike’s sisters delight in Mike throwing a fit, going so far to film it, and some of Julian’s scenes with the baby run a bit long for my taste, but I really do like Julian’s summation of Christmas: that it’s perfect because it’s not perfect and that we should be grateful of any time we spend with family, because it will all go away someday, as the ghosts can testify. We take the good with the bad. There are some delightful humor bits like the Ghosts needling the Captain and Thomas to join in on Twister, Fanny looking up at the tall tree from the seeds they planted, Mike’s dad having a chainsaw, and Julian waving off his daughter being a MP of the Green Party (screw you, Julian, she rules because of that), but there’s also the theme of family in the emotional scene. When Mike’s dad tells him they’re overbearing because someday they won’t get to do things for him, there’s a heartwarming irony that, even past death, the Ghosts are there for Alison, their newest family member. This episode made me realize just how... barren Alison’s biological family connections are from the first episode’s mentioning that there were no other direct relatives. And In the Bleak Midwinter is a gorgeous song that cuts as a certain truth: just because others can’t see your family doesn’t make them any less real to you. 

Saddest death: Thomas dying all alone at the tree, no one living by his side, feeling the sting of being rejected one final time at the end because his cousin was a selfish arse who capitalized on a woman he didn’t love for her estate? God, this bears repeating, but fuck Lord Button the First.

Favorite season: Oh, definitely Season 2. I love Season 1, but I’m not a huge fan of second-hand embarrassment and seeing Alison get embarrassed by her reacting to ghosts that others can’t see made me wince quite a few times. I much prefer Season 2′s handling of Alison and the Ghosts and how they work.

Least favorite season: Season 1. I don’t take to the more second-hand embarrassment humor of that season, but I do love every episode except Free Pass. It’s still a great season with episodes like Happy Death Day, Moonah Ston, and Getting Out. Special mention to Happy Death Day, which was the first time I realized Ghosts could balance the comedy and the darkness with sincere emotion without them undercutting each other at the wrong time.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: Now? Not really. In the first season though, I sometimes found Kitty a little too grating, possessive, and intrusive. Not that I don’t get where she’s coming from, her childhood sounds lonely and painful in ways she doesn’t fully comprehend and ghosthood hasn’t exactly made her any less lonely in some ways, most times I understand, but sometimes, like at the start of Getting Out where I feel she really should pump the brakes. 

That being said, her backstory’s gonna break me. I just know it.

My ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Fanny or the Captain. They really can be abrasive or domineering in that first season, the Captain steamrolling over Pat from time to time and Lady Fanny’s nitpicking and homophobia, but I do get why they are that way and they do get better.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Kitty, who deserves all the blankets for that childhood. Mary, who likely has a mental illness and got burnt because of that. Humphrey, who doesn’t deserve being ignored by the Ghosts.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Thomas/Alison. Thomas, sometimes, your behavior can get a little too much regarding Alison. That first (thankfully only) peep at her in the shower, I know you’ve been frustrated for years as a Ghost, but noooooooo. That being said, when Thomas respects her boundaries and is a supportive friend (have I mentioned how touching In the Bleak Midwinter is?), I dig them.

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Pat/Cap. Not that I don’t get it, and it promises heartwarming feels and heartbreak (Pat moving on after they hook up and Captain having to watch another leave him again, but this time, Captain got to admit his feelings before the leaving) and they are rather adorable together, but I’m more waiting for the narrative to acknowledge the possibility before launching myself into the ship full-time.

[woo-do-hwan]

The June Review

Dramas & Films I watched in June

The Romance of Tiger and Rose (2020) [9.5 out of 10]

I finally watched this so I could stop avoiding spoilers and tbh it did not disappoint. I finished this in about 2 days and I honestly don’t know what to do with myself now. I might have to start calling Lu Si the comedy queen because of the one heck of the performance she put on. I also loved the chemistry between the leads and by ep 10, it was so obvious the male lead was so in love with her, my heart just burst for them. The couple also reminded me of Donghua & Fengjiu in some instances bc Han Shuo is whipped for his woman just like Donghua is. Anyway... I might have to go rewatch this bc I feel empty inside now. 

My Dear Lady (2020) [6.5 out of 10]

I watched this curiously because of the summary but it seems most of the plot happened towards the end of the drama and by the end it felt rushed. I also got bored often watching most of this but the acting was still good. 

Kore Wa Keihi de Ochimasen! (2019) [8.5 out of 10]

I do truly enjoy watching some jdramas bc they’re just 10 episodes with no exaggerated or lengthy plot line and this was exactly it. It also had the subtle romance plot which doesn’t take the majority of the 10 eps which I quite enjoyed. And pretty much each ep came with a different story which I also loved with odd exception of the romance plot and the two last episodes. 

Kleun Cheewit (2017) [7.5 out of 10]

This isn’t my first lakorn and it certainly won’t be my last either. The chemistry between the two leads were amazing. I’m not sure what else to say... felt like they dragged out some parts and some things were a little so-so but good drama. 

Mystic Pop Up Bar (2020) [9.0 out of 10]

This is probably one of the best dramas I’ve watched this year, at first I wasn’t planning on watching it but I decided to give it a try and little did I know, I was going to be hooked two episodes in. I did mostly watch it for the back story (with the young actors) and I hope when they’re older they might consider doing another drama together. But I’m a sucker for tragedy & angst which I also try to avoid most of the time going into dramas (this is a very odd combo). The plot was great. A great drama, and I notice this also applies to books, when the audience guesses and already knows of the plot twists before they are revealed. It’s quite satisfying when all the pieces fall into place and that is exactly what happened. Mystic Pop Up Bar also kept it light-hearted bc you needed the humour after watching some of the angsty scenes, phew. 

Someday or One Day (2019) [8.5 out of 10]

I guess you could say this is a murder mystery for most of the episodes. The twist and turns are quite unexpected and I quite enjoyed watching. Greg Hsu could have my heart any day of the week. (this list is getting longer and longer with each passing day)

Want More 19 (2018) [7.0 out of 10]

A short web drama. I mean... the main reason I was here was for Day6′s OST ‘Chocolate’ It’s a great song. Also an amazing band. Again, it’s just a breather in between long-winded dramas. 

The Legend of White Snake (2019) [7.0 out of 10]

I know I said below another drama review that I had changed my ways and don’t skip through things now. Well... I skipped through this one mainly because I got fed up and bored, this consistently lasted through a whole chunk of eps. So I kind of skipped to the end... I didn’t miss much if I’m being honest and I wasn’t a fan of the ending. 

Tokyo Tarareba Musume (2017) [8.5 out of 10]

I went through a phase of watching dramas but regretted not paying enough attention to them the first time I watched them, either by skipping through the episode or just missing out episodes in general. Now that I’ve changed my ways and want to fully appreciate dramas, no matter how good or bad, I decided to rewatch this. There’s nothing better than watching Sakaguchi Kentaro be an angsty af man. Anyway, I enjoyed this very much. Jdramas have a lovely charm about them by not being too long and don’t drag out the storyline either. 

Good Casting (2020) [8.0 out of 10]

A better title for this show would be Chan Mi and her sidekicks... I wasn’t really a big fan of her character. She was literally everywhere & I think that’s where the plot falls... maybe I would have liked it more if we actually had a chance at seeing more of the other main characters. I think I was trying so hard to find a reason to like it but there wasn’t much to like about it. The premise of it sounded so appealing but again, it was just another drama that fell short. 

When My Love Blooms (2020) [7.5 out of 10]

Let’s be real here... I was watching this for Park Jinyoung & Jeon So Nee, I don’t know about you all. Honestly... I felt like Jinyoung & Jeon So Nee’s storyline would have worked well in a standalone drama. That would be quite interesting to see. Anyway, great chemistry between those two as well. I can’t say much for the present day storyline, easiest way to put it, I didn’t like it. But I suppose it’s what I get for a melodrama with the added extra drama tag. (Note to self, stop watching melodramas) 

My Woofy Poofy Love (2018) [8.0 out of 10]

It’s quite refreshing to watch short web dramas like this in between heavy dramas. You are angst free while watching fluffy web dramas. This was pure sweetness and very uplifting to watch, especially because I’ve been watching some heavy dramas recently. 

Where Your Eyes Linger (2020) [10 out of 10] (BL)

I’ve never given out a 10 before, they’re rare, extremely rare. Perfect actors, perfect length of episodes, perfect storyline. I loved it. I loved the way it reeled you in the first couple of episodes, with the fluff and the humour, then it eased you in and gave you a taste of the angst to come before completely ripping your heart out. And they gave us a kiss! A KISS! It was one of the softest kisses ever. PLEASE GIVE US SEASON 2... Ahem. At the moment, it is one of the best dramas I have seen this year. (I’m going to have to compile a list at the end of year of the best dramas, aren’t I? There’s bound to be more than one, Mystic Pop Up Bar is heading for a Best Drama crown this year too) Anyway. Go watch it, it’s worth it. 

The King: Eternal Monarch (2020) [7.5 out of 10]

Okay, if you follow me, you’ll know I was watching this for Woo Do Hwan and also Kim Kyung Name (you might have not known that one) and the queen Kim Go Eun. I mean it’s definitely not the best drama I’ve seen all year, it’s only June, there’s plenty of time for another drama to come out and impress everyone. But with this one... there was nothing really keeping me there except those three. My interest did peak around the middle episodes but died down quickly after. I wasn’t in love with Kim Go Eun/Lee Min Ho pairing but that’s just me, certain episodes they clicked with me and others they didn’t. I wanted more out of that final ep but I don’t at the same time. I wanted to see more of everyone’s life instead of the brief snippets we got, not to be biased but I wanted more to see more of Jo Yeong. I guess you take what you can get... we were teased with so much, the excellent cast, the hype for it and having a well known writer behind it but having watched it, it was a big let down, for me at least. 

Born Again (2020) [7.0 out of 10]

For an overall mystery/crime/fantasy/melodrama drama (If we can call it that) it wasn’t that bad... if we exclude the horror of the romance plot. The writer glorified what Jang Ki Yong’s characters did and that was not okay, he clearly needed help. Main Female lead ended up with the wrong guy. Lee Soo Hyuk deserves better. The stylist and him need a raise for his outfits during the later episodes when his past self takes over his current body because hot damn he was pulling that off better than any other character I’ve seen in a suit. 

My Holo Love (2020) [8.0 out of 10]

I loved the beginning of the drama but my interest died down after the plot was revealed (an evil man wanting the AI)... but I did however love the last scene of the series, that was a nice way to end it. 

Novoland: The Castle In the Sky (2016) [7.5 out of 10]

I just struggled to get into the storyline, I’m not sure whether to go back and watch the “happy ending” (ep 29) because I was fine with how they ended things. 

Maybe, Maybe Not (2019) [8.0 out of 10]

This a web drama, sweet and short ^.^

Long Time No See (2017) (BL) [8.5 out of 10]

This is just a short little drama, I loved the chemistry between the leads and it was very action packed for the few episodes it had. 

Snow Flower (2019) [Movie] [7.0 out of 10]

There is just something about Japanese movies... and sometimes dramas. It’s hard to explain, where they can be the most melancholic and beautifully filmed thing. It’s the odd feeling I get when I’m drinking coffee and it’s raining outside and I’m just overwhelmed and feeling nostalgic. Have you ever watched a film where you thought it was good, not extremely good, just good and not really have any qualms with it. This was the movie. Setting itself to be a sad movie with it’s summary surrounding terminal illness, but it’s hardly reflected upon. It focuses more on the romantic side of things which I didn’t mind. If you’ve got 2 hours to kill then it might be worth the watch.

Secretly, Greatly (2013) [Movie] [8.0 out of 10]

Worth a watch. It’s a good spy action movie with the comedy elements added into it as well. 

[padme-amitabha]

Heya so could you write one where jania solo and ben skywalker go back in time and save their gandfather anakin from falling becoming Darth Vader. They have to go back because they were the last of their family line because of the Vong war which they would have had better chance of surviving if anakin didn't fall and oh killing palpatine lol.

I couldn’t fit killing Palpy in this one but I might continue this if anyone’s interested. 

*

‘How strange,’ thought Anakin as he looked over at the new pair to arrive at Coruscant. They introduced themselves as siblings - Jaina and Ben Solo. The woman looked in her early thirties while the boy was in his teenage years.

They had arrived earlier this week and claimed to be war refugees. It wasn’t difficult to detect they were force-sensitives. He had asked them about it to which they had replied that they were born in the Outer Rim so they had never been identified by the Order. While the answer had been convincing enough, something troubled him about the pair. It was one of those inexplicable feelings that he had experienced several times in the past. It was the same intuition that had told him Qui-Gon Jinn was a Jedi knight, it was the same intuition that had told him he would marry Padmé someday and it was the same intuition that warned him his mother was in danger. Yet, he could not sense any ill-intent from the Solo siblings.

In fact, the woman Jaina had been very keen to befriend Padmé to the point they were regular visitors in her apartment. Perhaps he would have been more wary of them if the war and his nightmares hadn’t been plaguing him. But there was something oddly familiar about them. He was certain he had never met Jaina Solo before but something about her strongly reminded him of his mother. He had asked Padmé if he was imagining it but she had confirmed there was a resemblance. Padmé, ever the optimist, had remarked it was good fortune they had found new friends. He wasn’t so certain. The boy was quite young and very amiable. He had approached him and had been eager to learn from him; he seemed harmless enough. But Anakin wasn’t taking any chances – Padmé’s life was in danger and he had to be wary towards strangers.

Padmé had invited the pair for dinner and Anakin had joined them with the excuse of having something important to discuss with the Senator. Ben was currently complimenting Padmé on her excellent culinary skills, something that greatly amused him for he had done the cooking himself. His wife couldn’t cook if her life depended on it – not that Anakin would let her of course. He enjoyed being able to contribute in domestic chores since they could never be a married couple in public. However, he was in no mood for pleasant conversation. How could he when that particular dream had seemed so real? He excused himself saying he needed some air and walked over to the balcony. He took in a deep breath and tried to calm his turbulent mind. He had promised Padmé he would save her, even though he didn’t know how he would accomplish it. Even Master Yoda had provided a cryptic answer and Anakin wasn’t certain he could share it with Obi-Wan without raising suspicion from the latter. ‘Perhaps the Chancellor could help,’ he thinks. Palpatine was a father-figure to him and he was a good listener.

“You seem troubled, General Skywalker.”

He had been so lost in his train of thoughts he hadn’t noticed Jaina join him. He glanced at her – she always had a strange way of reading him. Perhaps it just had to do with her connection to the Force but she could read his own emotions even when he wasn’t so sure of himself. He decided it was no use denying it; if she had no ill-motive there was no harm in sharing part of it. Her insight might even prove helpful.

“I dream of pain and suffering sometimes, and losing people who are close to me.”

She didn’t seem surprised. “Death is a part of life, you know. Besides, what can you do to beat the inevitable?”

Annoyance rose in him. Why did he share this with her in the first place? He hardly knew her.  No one would understand what he was going through. He just couldn’t lose Padmé.

“If someone is very dear to you, it doesn’t come that easily.”

“Doesn’t your code prevent such attachments in the first place?”

She sounded amused. He doesn’t answer.

“Let me give you a piece of advice, Anakin” she says softly.

“It’s not easy to let go of someone. I should know better than anybody. I lost a twin.”

There was no mistaking the sorrow in her tone.

“But in trying to prevent the inevitable sometimes you lose a part of yourself – and end up causing something you dreaded in the first place. Let me tell you about a man, a man who made all the wrong choices. He wished to save his beloved and he went on to do terrible things in the name of love and in the end, he lost his mind and ended up being the cause of her death.”

Why was she telling him any of this? Yet the tale hit so close to home; her story was strangely immersive. But of course, he would never do that.

“What happened to him then?” he asked as he met her brown eyes – eyes that very much reminded him of Shmi and held untold wisdom.

“He was never the same again. He had lost everything – not just the woman he loved but himself as well. It was a fate worse than death.”

“You’re telling me it was inevitable then? That there’s no sense in trying? That you can’t change the story?”

“I’m saying terrible things happen when you put all the burden on yourself. There are always people around you who love you - trust and confide in them. Let them help you as well.”

This conversation had taken a strange turn, he decided. He had a feeling they weren’t talking about the tale anymore. He felt weary.

“Maybe you’re right,” he relented. She flashed one of her all-knowing smiles and left to join Padmé and her brother.

A trivial and short conversation but his mind couldn’t let go of the tale.

‘A man who made all the wrong choices…wished to save his beloved…went on to do terrible things in the name of love…lost his mind…ended up being the cause of her death.’

It rang in his mind over and over. He couldn’t help but pity the wretched man from Jaina’s tale. 

Of course, he would have done no such thing. But perhaps Obi-Wan would understand. Perhaps, sharing would ease his burden. If Obi-Wan didn’t approve, he could always leave the Order. He would not make the same mistake as the man. The future was uncertain but he was certain of one thing: he would not be the cause of Padmé’s death.

Part 2 

[harleenfleck]

“Alex Day” (Chapter 3)

Arthur Fleck x Original Character (OC)

Summary: Arthur Fleck is a young man who hates his life despite his young age: School is hell, his mother wants to control every aspect of his life, and has a strange condition that is difficult to explain to others, a condition which has caused him all those laughs and blows against him. But one day her luck changes when she meets the new girl in sky-blue shoes on the first day of school. A girl from California.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Bullying, Friendship/Love, Sadness

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

AO3 (full work)

Notes:  I am very sorry if I have grammatical or spelling errors, English is not my mother tongue!

Enjoy it!

...

Chapter 3: Conversations

A beautiful warmth blossomed on his chest, a new feeling. Just feeling the arms of Alex around him, her hand putting on her neck, causing him to put his head on her shoulder.

He wished he would not ruin that moment with his laughter, but he only heard whispers from her voice, saying that everything was fine.

“It’s okay… It’s okay…”

It didn’t take long for Arthur to calm down; the laugh decided to leave him alone. Arthur could now breathe quietly. However, he still felt a little embarrassed.

“Uh… Alex?”

“Yes, Arthur?”

“I’m sorry…”

“What?” Alex separated his head, but still hugging him. She looked at him, stunned; why was he apologizing to her? “Why do you say you’re sorry? You don’t have to apologize”

“But... It’s just that this. It is very embarrassing for me...”

“But this is not your fault”

“But sometimes... Sometimes I feel like it is...”

Alex’s eyebrows curved over, and the concern was drawn on her face, suddenly feeling so much sadness and pity for Arthur, perhaps that’s why others referred to him as a “freak.”

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“Hey... Yes... Sure... Please”

It wasn’t long when Arthur and Alex were sitting on a small bench in the schoolyard.

“This... Well... Doctors keep studying why I have this... This...” Arthur was ashamed to explain his condition to Alex; he considered it a bad thing.

“The laugh?”

“Yes, the laugh... It looks like I’ve had it since I was born, my mom said that. She says it must have been some malformation while she was pregnant. I have to take some medications to control it, but it’s a rare illness, they don’t know what it’s exactly...”

Arthur felt weird, explaining to someone what his condition was, stranger to him than anyone interested in him. Alex only listened intently to everything Arthur told her. Arthur was someone extraordinary; Alex could perceive it.

“This only happens to me when I’m very stressed or focused, even when I’m scared... Well, it happens when I have negative emotions. My mom had to explain to the Principal about this because the teachers didn’t believe me, they already do, but the others don’t... Or maybe they understand, but they misinterpret...”

Arthur stopped explaining. At the moment, he finally expected Alex’s rejection because that’s how always happened with him. For that horrendous laugh. It was the part he hated most about himself.

However, the last thing Alex thought was to reject him. Alex made a retrospective of the day, all the moments she spent with Arthur until that instant.

And without him expecting it, Alex delicately took Arthur’s hand. He trembled with that little touch, feeling her hand, her skin.

“Arthur, I’m so sorry you had to pass this”

“I’m getting used to it”

“But that’s not okay… It’s not okay everyone to treat you like you are someone bad”

“Maybe I am…”

“Arthur… I know this will sound crazy, I haven’t known you for half a day, and I think you’re a good person.”

Arthur felt his heartbeat quickly as he listened to Alex's words.

“You think that?”

“Yeah, I want you to be my friend, Arthur”

At the time, Arthur realized that he could not miss his opportunity, but he still feared so much for Alex.

“But, they, if they see you with me, they could mess with you, and I don’t want that for you. You’re the new girl, and you deserve better friends than I do.”

Alex let out a sarcastic laugh in that instant, laughter that scared Arthur a little.

“Better friends? Today I lunch with some of that “better friends”; they’re avaricious shit. I told them I was from California, and they wanted to know precisely which part; they asked me if my dad had an important job, they even tried to know it if he made a lot of money. I’m not going to stand for fake friends.”

At that moment, Arthur watched her admiringly; she was incredible; she could spot who bad people were and didn’t even let them into her life.

That meant he wasn’t a bad person?

Feeling a little better, Arthur hugged Alex again; she hugged him. Not having had a hug for a long time made him think a lot of things.

For the rest of the day, Alex decided not to change her seat in the classroom, while Arthur smiled from time to time, he finally had a friend.

…

Arthur returned home very animated. He had never happened anything like this, he had never had a friend, and was so grateful to the life of having sent him a special friend.

He opened his apartment door and came in.

"Happy?"

"Hello, mom!"

Arthur almost screamed with joy. Penny left the kitchen to watch her son arrive.

"Happy, look at you, you look very... Oh well, happy."  Penny noticed Arthur's outstanding happiness, if she could, would take a picture of him, Arthur had always been someone sad, and watching him smile was a phenomenon not to be missed

"Oh mom, of course, I'm happy, today was a good day at school." Arthur almost screamed with emotion, couldn't stand it, because he really felt great.

"I told you Happy; I told you were going to have a good day."

"It was more than good! Mom, I have a friend! A real friend, mom!"

"A friend? I'm glad you have a new friend." Penny smiled at her son without showing his teeth, she found it a little strange that Arthur said he had a "real friend."

"Then you tell me about your new friend, help me put the dishes on the table."

"Yes Mom, three dishes?"

"Nah, Charlie's not here."

"Really? Did he go to work or something?"

"No, he made me angry again, he brought back the subject of his wife and his children, and he knows I hate that subject..." Arthur wished he could stop listening, as he hated hearing much of his mother's problems with her boyfriend. Once the two sat at the table, eating some meat with potatoes, Penny put her boyfriend's theme aside, and eventually, Arthur could talk about what had him happy that day.

"Mom, I want to tell you about my friend."

"Oh, of course, your new friend! Tell me about it!" Arthur was ready to tell Penny everything.

"She's a girl, a really pretty girl, her name is Alexandra, but she likes to be called Alex, she's very kind."

"Oh... she's a girl..." The enthusiasm to know of Arthur's new friend ceased when Penny discovered she was a girl.

"Yes, she's one of the happiest people I've ever met, she's got a beautiful smile, and I think she's an angel."

"An angel, we climb this fast"

"Oh Ma, if only you knew, it’s just that I had a... One of my attacks and she helped me. And she is from California mom! You know how much I want to visit California someday, and she's like a little piece of my dream in my life, it's like she-"

"California, this gives me distrust".

Arthur's excitement and smile for telling his mother all about Alex stopped.

"What?"

"That you said to me, she's from California, and that's a very liberal place. I've heard that the women of California are... Well, let's leave it to us that they're very immoral".

Arthur stopped breathing. Why does his mom say that?

"B-but Mom, she's not like that the women you said. She's very nice to me; I don't think-"

"Happy, you just met her today, just wait a few days, and her true nature will come out. Be careful with her; I don't want you to fall into her trap".

He couldn't believe it; he couldn't believe what his mother was saying. And he needed to defend Alex.

"Mom! She's not like…!"

And was interrupted for Penny.

"Oh! Now you're going to say I'm not correct? Are you going to start with that again? Happy, I'm not telling you these things to bother you, you're my son, and I care about you. It would help if you didn't get hurt.”

“But they've all hurt me already. She's different, I can feel it”

"Just because you feel that doesn't mean it's true"

"B-but mom, she-"

Not wanting to hear her son's reasons, Penny decided to stop Arthur.

"I don't want yo be friend that girl".

Arthur was silent for a few seconds, shocked. And instantly, he yelled at his mother aloud.

"Why not? She's the only friend I have, the only one for the first time in years! And you don't want her to be my friend?!"

"Don't raise your voice, boy, is that how you thank everything I do for you? I do everything for you to have a better life so that we can get ahead, leave this crap hole of an apartment, and that's how you pay me?"

Penny's words said to Arthur froze him, like if he had done something wrong like being left in detention or robbing something of a store. Suddenly Arthur felt that tingling in his throat again. Arthur tried to get off the table.

"Not!" Penny yelled to him, "You will stay here."

"B-B-But"

"Stop hiding that, that's part of you."

I don't want this to be a part of me.

The laugh returned. Arthur tried to hide it, but whenever he had an attack in front of Penny, she forced him not to hide his laughter, despite how much he hated his laugh.

After a long and dying minute, Arthur was able to calm down.

"Arthur, I don't know why you do that; you know that condition is yours."

"I hate it."

"Hate it?! But Happy, remember, this condition it's a blessing in your life."

No again with that, please...

"I don't like this; what kind of bless it is?"

"Happy, you always forget everything I tell you. You know God gave you that laugh for a reason, remember what that reason is, Happy? Can you say that reason for Mom?"

Arthur tried never to see his mother with hate because he could never hate her in his life, but situations like that were very wearing for him. With his eyes weeping and still trembling, Arthur said the reason:

"To bring laughter and joy into this fucked up world."

A loud noise. It was a blow, a direct blow to Arthur's hand that was on the table. It was Penny's fist.

Arthur screamed in pain and took his hand to himself.

"What have we said about swearwords, Happy?"

Penny crossed her arms and looked authority at her son.

"Sorry, Ma..."

His hand was still hurting.

"I'm going to go to the store; Charlie left some money before he screws it up again; you want to buy for you that bread you always like it?"

Arthur only stared at his mother. He didn't understand her sometimes. She always criticized him when he said swearwords despite his age, but she told those words out loud. That time, she slammed Alex, his friend, a lot, saying she was probably an immoral woman when Penny was dating a married man.

But there were many things Arthur feared to question her, and he would not, because of the simple fact that she was his mother and should respect her authority.

"Yeah... Thank you, Ma"

"Okay, I'll be back."

And without doing anything else, Penny went for her purse and left the apartment.

Arthur, just at last, went to the couch and dropped on this one.

He just wanted to tell his mom that he had finally got a friend; what's the problem if she was a girl? What's the problem if she came from California?

When Penny gave Arthur orders about how he should behave or make decisions, Arthur followed them blindly, without questioning her.

But this time, it was very different. Too much. And he didn't want to stop being friend with Alex just because his mother made a wrong assumption about her. Arthur firmly believed that the first day was going to be hell and thanks to Alex it was quite the opposite of that.

For the first time, he decided not to follow her mother's order; perhaps he could convince her that Alex is not a bad person in the future.

She definitely isn't.

…

"How was your day today, sweetheart?"

In a completely different atmosphere, full of peace, with some music on a record player with a vinyl, Alex was sitting on the balcony of her house, watching the sunset from afar. She had been distracted by her mother, who came home from work, approaching her daughter, wanting to hear from her.

"Mommy"

Her mother put her hands in Alex’s shoulders, Alex took one of her mother’s hands and stroked her, every time her mom gave to Alex a show of affection, she would receive it

" Was it a good first day? You made new friends, sweetheart?”

Alex smiled at her mother; she took a seat in another chair near to her.

"It was a very rare day mommy, but in the end, it was worth it."

"Really, honey? Why was it worth it?"

Alex smiled again; Alex's smile always gave happiness to others; her family was not going to be the exception.

"Well, after you and Dad left me at school, I walked in, and it's very different from California. The people here seem to be cold, like Gotham".

"Cold?"

"Yes…” Alex played with the braid of her hair, braid that was made after her bath “I tried to find the classroom before, as you said, but I had my pen in my hand, and the ink came out, and it stained my hands. I ran to the women's room to wash my hands, but I don't think they have anything to say the bathrooms are men's or women's."

"Why do you say that?"

"I think I accidentally went into the men's room."

"Oh, Alex!" His mother began to laugh, "How could you confuse that?" Alex started laughing with his mom too.

"I don't know! It just happened! But if I hadn't made a mistake, I wouldn't have met my first friend in Gotham."

"Your first friend? Oh my god, I want to hear this!"

At that instant, Alex's eyes lit up, she tried to hide that, but it was a failure, her mother realized that.

"Well, his name is Arthur, Arthur Fleck... He's a boy... Well..."

"Is he handsome? Look, you blushed."

And Alex took her fingers to one of her cheeks; it was true what his mother was saying.

"N-No, I mean! Yes, I think he's cute, and he-"

"I caught you, girl!”

"Mommy! Let me finish!" Alex almost yelled at her mom a little upset because she wouldn't let her talk.

"Okay, I'm sorry"

"Well... I think he's a good boy, but he's a little sad."

"Sad? Oh, why he's sad?" Her mother's expression of laughter disappeared and instead, one of dismay appeared. Alex didn't know if it was right to talk about it with her mom, but she knew she could trust her.

"Oh mom, I think he's in a lot of problems. When I walked into the bathroom, I heard someone cry, I thought I imagined it, but I didn't. I asked if he needed help, and he opened the door. He tried to hide he was crying front me, but his eyes are red"

"Oh, I hope he'll okay right now."

"I hope it the same thing, but it's not his only problem. He has another... And it's kind of weird. At lunchtime, he had something like a... attack..."

"Attack? Asthma attack?"

"No, a laughing attack"

"Laughing? Oh, he must be a very sympathetic guy!"

Her mother laughed with innocence, but Alex was serious. Her mother decided to remain silent.

"No Mom, he showed me a card; the card said something like, "Forgive my laughter; I have a condition." After his attack he told me about it. Since he was born, he has a condition, something in his brain went wrong, and he has sudden attacks of laughter. It looks like he'd be laughing at a joke or something, but he's actually under a lot of stress."

"Oh my...  Oh, Poor boy."

"But something weird was going on with him, he was asking me sorry for his condition, he said he didn't want to bother me. Many don't want him at school because of his condition, and others make fun of that. He told me he didn't want us to be friends because he was afraid of they'd do the same to me.

"Oh, please tell me you didn't listen to him."

"Of course not! Besides, the others at school are a fucking idiots; they thought I’m coming from L.A. we were rich or something."

"But honey, we-"

"Mom, I don't want fake friendships, I'd rather have a friend like Arthur than have 100 fake friends."

Her mother saw her with great pride. Alex's heart must have been golden. “Oh, Alex, as extraordinary as ever”

“I'd love to have more friends, but I want Arthur to be with them. I want to help him a lot.”

“You could do it, honey, you can help him, as long as you can help someone else try it.”

Alex smiled at his mom again. Again, she thought again of Arthur, and as she did so, she would play again with the tip of her braid.

"Dad is coming to dinner soon?"

"Will you, help me prepare dinner?"

"Of course, I do!"

…

The next day, Alex sat in the same place again, right next to Arthur. She was waiting for him, with happiness. Arthur, when he arrived in class, he tried to get in quickly, unnoticed, but seeing Alex sitting next to his chair made him feel safe.

"Good morning Arthur"

"Morning Alex, ready for your second day?"

"Ready for all the days"

The next few days, they passed normally, at least for Alex, little by little, she began to make more friends in the class, especially with the girls.

Although she was trying to get Arthur to join them, Arthur simply said: "I don't want to bother the others" Alex didn't show to Arthur but sometimes that behavior disappointed her a little. But she'd be patient with him because she really wanted to help Arthur.

Arthur and Alex laughed together between classes, talking about a joke, about how Ms. Joy was getting mad again about nonsense, or they just talked about meaningless things and laughed together again.

Of course, the rest of the class realized that especially the three guys who always bothered Arthur.

"Why is that idiot with her? Are they a couple?"

"I don't think so, I think she just has pity on him."

They saw with annoyance the two of them, especially Arthur

"Poor her when she wants to get him off her"

"I could help her with that" One of them opened her mouth, and her two friends laughed.

"But Jeff, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"So what? Can't I play with that doll?"

All three laughed a little higher.

Arthur realized they laughter and feared that those guys who always bothered him about his condition, they always were making fun of him.

"Is something wrong, Arthur?"

Alex asked when she saw the expression on Arthur's face changed abruptly. Arthur didn't know what to say at those time. Maybe those idiots made fun of them, or they laughed at something else, and maybe he was getting paranoid. Arthur hadn't told Alex about those three guys who always bothered him every time they had the chance.

However, since Alex entered school, they hadn't even crossed their eyes with him, would they finally leave him alone? Or would they be planning something worse?

Arthur looked at Alex, if they were planning something horrible, he couldn't let them hurt her, he had to protect her, he had to protect his best friend.

"I think I forgot the math homework at my house."

"Oh, don't worry, I can help you with that."

"Oh... Thank you, Alex, thank you..."

Yes, Arthur had to protect her from the adversity.